The unthinkable has happened: Your roommate got in the shower even though you were kicking around the idea of getting in there. How can you recover from this cruel act and move forward with your relationship? We’ve put together some tips to help you through this difficult time.
Take deep breaths.
Inhale, count to three, and exhale. Imagine yourself on a beautiful beach. The waves at your feet, the sun in your hair. Sweat on your brow. You should probably shower when you get home. Wait! No! No shower content. Just the gentle breeze and the crash of the waves. See? Lovely!
Remember all the nice things your roommate has done for you.
She always brings your packages in. There was that time she went to Costco and bought all that household stuff in bulk and didn’t even make you split the cost. She even helps you hide your cat from the landlord! She’s probably a good person deep down despite this terrible, terrible affront.
Consider that maybe your roommate needs the shower more than you right now.
What if she has a job interview or a date coming up? Maybe she has to go to court after this. You guys don’t talk much anyway, so this could be a really critical shower for her. You mostly want to shower because you’re bored and so you can try a free sample of a hair mask. It’s not urgent.
Talk yourself out of the urge to shower.
How often does one need to shower anyway? Even the celebrities don’t do it anymore! It doesn’t matter that you haven’t showered in the past few days – it’s more sustainable to live in your own filth. Not showering is actually noble! She’s the one making a huge mistake.
Look up the cost of installing a second shower.
If the last step didn’t work, and you are still yearning for the shower, see if it makes sense to get another one installed. Oh, it’s $5,000? And you don’t own your apartment? Never mind.
List your roommate’s room on Craigslist.
This isn’t exactly an act of forgiveness, but it might be the only option if nothing else is working. Find someone to replace your current roommate who wouldn’t dare cleanse herself if you were considering doing the same. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t voice out loud that you maybe wanted to take a shower, your roommate should have sensed it. Au revoir to her!
Oh wait, she’s out of the shower now! Well, the urge has passed. You’ll shower tomorrow morning. Back to TikTok!