Obnoxious Ex-Couple Still Saying Kind Things About Each Other

In a rude story developing out of a Chicago-based social circle, exes Jeremy Stroud and Nia Cahill are still speaking kindly of one another despite having been broken up for the past four months now.


“When Nia and Jeremy were together, they were always that insufferable couple who were just so in love and always communicating healthily,” says a mutual friend, Lily Wang. “They never did things like arguing in front of their friends, venomously bitching about each other, or otherwise making partnered life seem unbearable, like we’re all supposed to do.”


Other witnesses attest that the amicable nature of the pair’s breakup came as no surprise, but at the very least they thought the loving and supportive vibes would be out the window.


“Nia and Jeremy seem to have nothing but nice things to say about each other,” says friend Lamonte White. “When I ask either of them what’s up with the breakup, they just say that there’s ‘still love between them’ and they’re ‘working toward building a friendship’.”



“It’s just immature,” Lamonte adds. “Like, leave me out of your lack of drama.”


Somehow, breaking up has made the duo no less insufferable.


“Sometimes their relationship would give me a complex, like, I’ll never find a partner like that,” Lily says. “And now I’m like well holy shit, I’ll certainly never find an ex like that. This is the sort of ex dynamic I would dream of co-parenting my children-of-divorce with, but that’s just not achievable for everyone.”


“Just talk a little shit,” Lily adds. “It would make everyone around you way more comfortable.”


At press time, it was confirmed that Nia and Jeremy had hooked up again. This story will be updated if things finally correct course and get messy.