In a disquieting story out of your mom’s living room, your cousin just casually referred to the existence of their other grandparents, to whom you are not related, while you were playing cards together and having an otherwise normal time.
Sources are wondering if these people are real, or just a figment of your cousin’s imagination.
“I was just chatting with my cousin Liam when out of the blue they mentioned that they spent the holidays with their grandma in Wisconsin,” you say. “At first I was like, why was Grandma in Wisconsin? And why are you saying ‘my grandma’? But then it became all too clear.”
In a truly frightening revelation, you discovered Liam, whose dad is your mom’s brother, was referring to their mom’s mom: an entirely different grandmother whom they freakishly don’t share with you.
“It was straight out of the Twilight Zone,” you say. “We’re supposed to have the same grandma; that’s, like, our whole deal. And what’s worse is our grandma is their paternal grandma, so she may not even be their number one grandma!”
You are deeply shaken and still trying to process the news.
“I can’t believe my cousin has been leading a double life with a secret family this whole time,” you say. “I mean, I guess it wasn’t secret, but I never really thought about it.”
But things went from bad to worse when Liam mentioned that their other cousins with whom you are in no way related were also in attendance at this “family” gathering.
“This is just so fucked up,” you say. “I mean, sure, I have other cousins on my dad’s side that my maternal cousins have never met, but we can’t all be doing this.”
“Where does the buck stop?” you add. “Am I just supposed to except that my cousins have cousins who also have cousins unrelated to my cousins? My sense of reality is crumbling. Is everyone in the world technically cousins by extension?”
Here’s hoping death comes from your cousin’s other set of grandparents soon, because this is getting scary!