Cute Fall Scrunchies For Tying Your Tubes

Tying Tubes - Reductress

Many of us consider the scrunchie to be a nostalgic accessory of your youth, but this 80s number is back, and making its way into sterilized women everywhere. If you’re looking for a stylish method to surgically prevent reproduction this fall, try these cute fall scrunchies for tying your tubes!


Velvet – Velvet is everywhere this season, and a velvet scrunchie is the perfect accessory for any woman looking to surgically prevent her eggs from reaching her uterus. Ask your doctors to pull your fallopian tubes into a sleek high knot and cinch your style – and your reproductive organs – with a thick velvet scrunchie.


Black – The only thing classier than a little black dress is a little black scrunchie for tying your tubes. Fashion icons like Hilary Clinton have been spotted sporting these chic numbers in their hair for years – so why not one-up them and show the world that it’s what’s on the inside that counts?


Marc Jacobs – Carrie Bradshaw once stated that no stylish New Yorker “would be caught dead at a hip downtown restaurant wearing a scrunchie around her fallopian tubes.” But with a wide selection of hot designer numbers hitting the runway this season, we think she’d be first in line to cinch her reproductive pathways with THIS Marc Jacobs scrunchie. Sure, they cost about an arm and a leg – but that’s nothing compared to the cost of the countless children you won’t need to rear!



Jean – For a more casual, fall-inspired look, try a fun jean scrunchie for cutting off your ovary supply to your uterus. The denim fabric will look gorgeous around any sterilized organ – especially your oviducts!


Red – What’s cuter than babies? This red, fabric-covered hair elastic to stylishly clamp your reproductive pathways and ensures life of any kind never escapes your vaginal cave.Try this cute, sophisticated fall number for a more adorable sterilization.


No surgical procedure to prevent fertilization is complete without one of these cute fall scrunchies for tying your tubes. Include one during your tube-tying this fall to add some fun and flair to your contraceptive affair!