‘That’s So Funny!’ Says Woman Trying to Survive Uber Ride

In an effort to merely survive her Uber ride, Chicago resident Julia Ruiz took the opportunity to announce, “Oh my gosh, that’s so funny!” immediately following her driver’s distinctly unfunny, overtly sexist tirade.


“Everyone knows about the fight or flight response, but those aren’t really options when you’re trapped in an Uber that’s pushing 90 on the freeway with 20 minutes left in your ride,” Ruiz said. “At that point, your only option is to laugh at whatever your driver says and just hope you’re a good actor.”


Ruiz went on to say that she doesn’t typically humor men when it comes to their bad jokes.


“I’m not usually one to fake laugh just to stroke some guy’s ego,” she said. “But there’s something about being locked in a hot sedan with a strange man who just said his ex was a lying whore and has a vein throbbing in his neck that’ll have you downright cackling about anything.”



When it comes down to it, she would reportedly say just about anything in order to stay on her driver’s good side for the duration of the trip.


“I find myself often falling back on comments like ‘Yeah, women are insane’ or ‘Your ex sounds like a real piece of work’ as catch-all responses to whatever my driver just said,” Ruiz said. “That doesn’t even have to be what they were talking about. It always gets me on their good side.”


In addition to fake laughing, researchers from Stanford University have confirmed a list of stock phrases that, when used during an Uber ride, can decrease your chances of being abducted and murdered by 200%. 


Some of these phrases include: “Wow, you’re so smart,” “You sound like you know a lot about cars,” and “Can you explain the stock market to me, in detail?”


At press time, an expert added that these phrases can be helpful in surviving an interaction with almost any man, to which Ruiz replied, “You sound like you know a lot about cars!”