Tedious Makeup Looks That Say, ‘I Actually Celebrate All Eight Nights of Hanukkah’

Style

The Best Matching Footie Pajamas for You and Your Boyfriend to Announce That You No Longer Fuck

You could try couple’s therapy to find out why he can’t get a boner for you, but this is cheaper!

Style

Trendy Winter Tights With a Crotch That Will Sag to Mid-Thigh By Noon

Maybe tie a belt around them or something?

Thoughts

People Think I Hate Millennials, But Really I Just Hate My Son, Brian

I won’t be able to believe how much time I’ve wasted on him.

Living

How To Have A Wedding So Rustic At Least One Person Gets Killed By A Bear

Throw a wedding so rustic that at least one person gets brutally mauled by a bear for all your loved ones to see.

Style

4 Sexy Strapless Dresses That Will Remind You Why Most Dresses Have Straps

It’s the perfect style for reminding you that most dresses have straps for a reason.

Love and Sex

How To Tell If He’s Horny, Hungry, Or Just Needs To Go Outside

Come on, boy!

Love and Sex

Cool Ways to Sabotage His Fantasy Team Because You’re Bored

This is much easier than outright telling him you need attention!

Living

Ugly Christmas Sweaters That Say, ‘I Can’t See Where Irony Ends and Capitalism Begins’

At that price, you may as well be consuming sincerely.

Living

QUIZ: Which of Trump’s Conflicts of Interests Are You?

As we approach Trump’s inauguration, it’s important to know!

News

Mom Schedules Daughter’s Annual Dentist Appointment for 8am Like A Madwoman

Even if they offer a much more reasonable morning time, like 9:45, she springs for the 8am slot.

Love and Sex

4 Sex Positions You Won’t Have To Do If You Just Stay Home

GET SOME, girl! Get some rest!

Thoughts

I Don’t Owe Anybody An Explanation For The Big Wet Spot On My Shirt

Don’t ask or you will just be disappointed because I am NOT revealing my secrets.

Entertainment

‘Westworld’ Fan Theories That Still Don’t Get Hillary Enough Electoral Votes

HOW CAN SHE WIN?

I Lived it: Thoughts

My Youngest Daughter Stopped Believing in Mariah Carey

I always knew this day would come, but I hoped it wouldn’t be so soon.

Living

How To Follow Your Dreams As Persistently As That Man Is Following You Home

Here’s how to never give up no matter how much others want you to, just like the man following you home!

Thoughts

Years of Marriage Have Taught Me That Love Is Hard Work That’s Beneath Me

It would be great if we could just hire someone.

Love and Sex

How to Just Grab His Hand and Cram It Into Your Vagina

You deserve to have what you want.

Love and Sex

How to Appreciate His Sense of Humor When It’s Just Your Own Jokes Loudly Repeated Back to You

It’s important that you appreciate the originality of his louder version.

Thoughts

How Trump Inspired Me to Drain My Cyst

America is great again after all!

Style

Stilettos to Challenge You, As If Being a Woman Isn’t Painful Enough

If it’s somehow become too easy for you, simply exhaust yourself with a classy pair of stilettos!

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RECENT POSTS

Tedious Makeup Looks That Say, ‘I Actually Celebrate All Eight Nights of Hanukkah’

The Best Matching Footie Pajamas for You and Your Boyfriend to Announce That You No Longer Fuck

Trendy Winter Tights With a Crotch That Will Sag to Mid-Thigh By Noon

People Think I Hate Millennials, But Really I Just Hate My Son, Brian

How To Have A Wedding So Rustic At Least One Person Gets Killed By A Bear

4 Sexy Strapless Dresses That Will Remind You Why Most Dresses Have Straps

How To Tell If He’s Horny, Hungry, Or Just Needs To Go Outside

Cool Ways to Sabotage His Fantasy Team Because You’re Bored

Ugly Christmas Sweaters That Say, ‘I Can’t See Where Irony Ends and Capitalism Begins’

QUIZ: Which of Trump’s Conflicts of Interests Are You?

Mom Schedules Daughter’s Annual Dentist Appointment for 8am Like A Madwoman

4 Sex Positions You Won’t Have To Do If You Just Stay Home

I Don’t Owe Anybody An Explanation For The Big Wet Spot On My Shirt

‘Westworld’ Fan Theories That Still Don’t Get Hillary Enough Electoral Votes

My Youngest Daughter Stopped Believing in Mariah Carey

How To Follow Your Dreams As Persistently As That Man Is Following You Home

Years of Marriage Have Taught Me That Love Is Hard Work That’s Beneath Me

How to Just Grab His Hand and Cram It Into Your Vagina

How to Appreciate His Sense of Humor When It’s Just Your Own Jokes Loudly Repeated Back to You

How Trump Inspired Me to Drain My Cyst

Stilettos to Challenge You, As If Being a Woman Isn’t Painful Enough