Though Letitia Adaire identifies as a feminist, she does not always have an immediate sense of trust when it comes to the women in her life.
“I obviously think women of all shapes and colors should have equal rights and opportunities,” says Adaire. “But I also do think that women are backstabbers and I don’t trust them.”
Adaire has long been a self-described feminist, and frequently attends events and rallies that support women’s issues, and attended the Women’s March in DC just last month.
“It was incredible to see so many of us out in DC to stand up for women’s rights,” she says. “Of course, big crowds are ideal because honestly, one-on-one interactions with women make my blood run cold.”
“I’m always just like, ‘Is that bitch trying to steal something from me?’”
When pressed for details about her bad experiences with women, Adaire could only supply a handful of examples from the course of her life.
“There was that bitch, Sarah, from second grade,” she recalls. “She stole my Care Bear lunchbox, so now I never let women borrow my possessions. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I will hold a vendetta against other women for the rest of my life.”
Adaire also claims she had a bad experience at sleep-away camp and a college professor named Melissa Graham. Each isolated event supplies Letitia with a permanent excuse to never trust women again.
However, Adaire maintains that she is a feminist, and still rocks an “I’m With Her” pin.
“I wanted Hillary Clinton to be president because she would fight for equal pay,” claims Adaire. “But I understand that she lost because she is a woman and therefore highly suspicious and a liar.”
Friends and coworkers confess that they find Adaire’s personal philosophy to be a tad confusing.
“She has a mug on her desk that says ‘The Future is Female,’” says one coworker, Rebecca. “But when I asked if she wanted to join the company softball team, she looked me dead in the eyes and asked if I was trying to steal her job. What?”
But Adaire is set in her ways.
“All women are potentially my enemies,” she says. “Why would I arm my enemy with a baseball bat? That doesn’t mean I don’t applaud and encourage women to gather in large numbers and exercise their divine, feminine power. I would just prefer to never have to interact with them one-on-one because they lie, cheat, and steal.”
Wow, girl! We admire the guts it takes to be honest with an unpopular and totally batshit opinion. You go, Letitia!