Mark Beatty knows that women often get the short end of the stick when it comes to office politics. That’s why he’s careful to respect the women he works with, listen to their ideas, and ultimately steal everything from the men he works with so he can pass off their pitches as his own.
Umm can you say, “True ally to all women?”
“Of course I’m a feminist,” says Beatty. “If I wasn’t, then how would you explain the fact that I exclusively screw over other men at work?”
One thing’s for sure, his coworkers are starting to take notice!
“Mark seems like a bad guy,” says Monica Singh, a coworker. “But I’m also relieved that he’s taken it upon himself to leave the women at our office alone. But I feel like that’s somehow the opposite of feminism? I can’t quite put my finger on why but it’s for sure bad.”
Beatty’s male coworkers are mostly just angry.
“He took credit for an entire presentation I made and presented myself,” says Barry Lewis. “He got a promotion because of it. What a fucking douche.”
But Beatty is happy simply ignoring the haters.
“I just hope people can realize that I not only support women advancing in their careers, but I also have tons of innovative ideas about moving this company forward, which you can find in my latest quarterly projections,” Beatty says.
“Those were my quarterly projections,” added Barry. “Like, I literally wrote them and they have my name on it.”