Top 10 Cities To Meet Men Who Still Live With Their Parents

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Are you a smart, independent woman looking for a man to nurture, love, and treat like a son? Take a trip and explore these cities to find a man that will never grow up!

 

1. Davenport, Iowa:

Video games and late-night trips to Taco Bell keep the guys in this tiny Midwestern town chubby and ambitionless. These genetically modified, corn-fed men might not be the ones of your dreams, but they’ll definitely respond to your desires if you threaten to cancel the cable subscription.

 

2. Staten Island, New York:

Technically these men claim they’re just living at home to save money on skyrocketing NYC rents. But they love their Mom’s homemade lasagna almost as much as the free rent. As emotionally stunted egomaniacs, these men can be easily manipulated if you play to their food-based vulnerabilities.
 

3. Salt Lake City, Utah:

The moral missionaries in this pious town are smart, handsome, and successful – but don’t let the exterior fool you. These dreamboats are never planning on leaving home! He might technically move from mom’s house to yours, but don’t worry; he’ll reunite with his parents on his planet in the afterlife! It’ll all worth it if you value fresh, healthy looking children.

 

4. Homer, Alaska:

The zero-degree weather here makes leaving the house almost impossible. Sheltered and completely detached from the rest of the world, these wilderness men are ripe for the picking. Grab one before he realizes there are other women in the world besides his mother.

 

 

5. Odessa, Texas:

Who doesn’t like man in overalls that smells of BBQ, chewing tobacco, and their grandma’s cat whiskers? Constantly covered in dust, their thick southern twang makes it almost impossible to understand what these career-less Momma’s boys are saying, but maybe that’s for the best?

6. Flint, Michigan:

This city is one of the most depressed cities in the world and the men here are no exception. If you’re looking for a blank slate (a really blank slate), head to Michigan!

 

7. Homestead, Florida:

It’s called Homestead for a reason. The bachelors in this sunny city are as obsessed with never leaving their childhood homes as they are with Nascar. Maybe someday you want a son like that?

 

8. Myrtle Beach, South Carolina:

If you like smooth-talking Southern Gentlemen, then this is not the city for you. For the men of Myrtle, not much has changed here since the 80’s. They still have a mullet and a waterbed in their dad’s basement. So there’s that.

 

9. Dayton, Ohio:

Dayton is considered one of the ugliest cities in America, with an atmosphere so dreary and dull most of the men have lost hope. Get them while they’re down and out, ladies!

 

10. Stockton, California:

With unemployment over 18.5% for the 5th year in a row, Stockton is a hotbed of California hotties with no steady income, making it the perfect place to find your sugar baby.

COMMENTS

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  • crazy_shar

    Well I wouldn’t say Dayton, Ohio is all that bad! Unless you are hanging out in certain areas…….Nice people live there…

  • Erika Imma Boss Clark

    Dayton Ohio ain’t that bad depending in what area u in

    • BuckeyeGirl23

      The only thing that’s good is the suburbs.

  • http://www.miseducationoftiffanisharice.blogspot.com Tiffani S

    Depends on if you mean the actual city of Dayton or if this includes the surrounding suburbs… It’s no Knoxville, Tennessee, but I think it’s an exaggeration to say it’s the ugliest city… But if people believe it, I guess that’s the reason for the never ending construction on I-75, lol.

  • ohiodale

    I love my neighborhood in Dayton suburbs. This article is 100% opinion and has zero facts.

    • lemonsandpeppers

      Well obviously.

    • BuckeyeGirl23

      The keyword is “suburb.” I agree that the only thing good about Dayton is the suburbs.

  • BHizzy

    Written by Cody, a snarky blogger who lives in his parent’s basement while writing about places he’s never been.

    • sherricyan

      Cody is a girl.

  • Keith Wright

    THIS is what’s wrong with our country.

    When people in our society are berated because their family is united…in one place…working together to survive in these tough times.

    Why is this a bad thing? Mom had a heart attack in September. Instead of being thousands of miles away, she was in the same room. We took her to the hospital. She thought she was having indigestion. She came out with a triple by-pass, an aortal repair, AND a pacemaker.

    Did she get moved to a hell-hole of a nursing home?

    No.

    She was already here. She was brought back home, to her own bed, where she got better in a few WEEKS. My girlfriend and I were here to help her recuperate and thrive.

    Maybe what our country needs is families staying TOGETHER instead of leaving each-other. It would be nice to have grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, kids, and grand-kids all sharing the same space…and sharing the lessons of life and love.

    My Indian friends agree and wonder what’s wrong with Americans.

    Excuse me. Mom’s calling.

    • Billy Badass

      Whoever said Tim Sylvia is an athlete apparently hasnt seen his fatass double fisting footlong corndogs at the fair

      • Keith Wright

        Skateboards have wheels.

    • Keith Wright

      Fucked by satire again. Sheesh.

    • NHG702

      You’re 100% right. This is how everybody should live. No matter what they wish to accomplish with their lives. Matter of fact, let’s start making bigger houses that we can pass along from generation to generation, and we can all live there from birth until we die. Ahhhh, nothing like 70 years in the same town, knowing the same people, and going to the same places. Sounds like a blast. Especially with how great the weather is in Davenport :D!!

      It’s hilarious how defensive everyone is getting over this article. Kinda cute to watch people freak out when a little cold hard truth gets thrown their way.

      Oh and by the way, India’s flawless customs and social structure blatantly favors male children over female children so tell you’re “Indian friends” they can pass judgement when their country adapts the idea of “equality”

      • Heather

        There’s no cold hard truth. Just funny that people like yourself have to see sons or daughters who live with, and in many instances take care of, an ill parent as something to disparage. I guess not everyone has loving parents who they enjoy spending time with so it’s understandable when an article like this pops up.

      • Keith Wright

        “Tell you’re?” I can tell you’re illiterate because of your inability to properly use elementary grammar.

        • NHG702

          Instead of defending your point of view, you decided to criticize their grammar. Nice.

          • Keith Wright

            Since my POV requires no defense, I will play the “you lose credibility through stupidity” card and be on my way.

  • Cary Brown

    Thats funny that davenport, ia is number one when world class athletes like ultimate fightings Tim Silva and Pat miletch and Crossfits #19th team in the world 2013 etc….. reside and train here???? Clearly you haven’t done your research.

    • john

      Actually they were from Bettendorf.

      • Cary Brown

        The crossfit team is from davenport.

        • Cary Brown

          We also host the Bix race with runners from all over the world and several other sporting events.

    • NHG702

      Davenport has a population of almost 100,000 people. You’re using 6 individuals to try and prove your point. Makes sense.

      • Cary Brown

        Actually davenport is the hub of 5 cities with over 500,00 people. Do i really need to start listing every athlete/accomplishment?

    • Larry

      HA! Crossfit, really? I think “world class” is a stretch as well since his gym is a POS in Bettendorf- would expect more for world class – flash in the pan in the early days of MMA. I am sure their retail jobs afforded them the time to train so much. Meanwhile, everywhere else, people were working in a great careers where their face and time were too important for MMA or Crossfit.

      • Cary Brown

        Larry, you clearly don’t have a clue what your talking about. Quad city crossfit placed 19 in the world last year out of 200,000 athletes who competed. 2 teams are going to regionals again this weekend in Chicago. I only used a cpl of examples because I dont have all day to name every athlete/team that would refute this poorly written article with 0 statistics or proof of legitimacy.

  • ListenToYourElders

    I have no idea who the asshole is who developed this article, but I would bet the farm that he or she has never been in Davenport, IA, or if he or she has, it was not for more than 30 minutes. What nonsense to publish this kind of crap and demean an entire city with no evidence. Let’s see your statistical evidence; your sociological proof; a description of your scientific method of investigation. Bet you have none of that. What crapola you are dishing out. To bad Davenport doesn’t sue you for libel and put you out of business.

    • NHG702

      As someone who has lived there for 20 years of my life and grew up with the generation that this article is aimed towards, I can say that they have an extremely valid argument. The fact that your post is so angry and emotionally charged tells me you are either, A: A parent whose mid-20 year old son is on xbox live in your basement right now as I type, or B: An old disgruntled being who’s few sad joys in life includes clinging on to the idea that your peaceful mid-western utopia is stocked full of hard-working, ambitious young people, and not the defeatist, sheltered potheads that I went to high school with. Davenport (and most of the quad cities) reeks of mediocrity. Half of the people I know have “settled”. Gotten their girlfriend pregnant and started working retail so they can just sit around and have an excuse as to why they aren’t maximizing their potential. If you are an elder like you say you are then I’m going to guess that you are just out of touch, which is not your fault, if I still lived there I would want to be oblivious as well.

      • Larry

        DITTO. Got out of there and never came back after college. Its sad the decline the area has gone through with the loss of its manufacturing base, but all that left is to work retail or restaurant jobs – maybe Deere if you are sharp. Unfortunately most people I know still there seem happy to “make it big” on a retail job but most have never known much more of a life or city.

        • Drew

          The Quad Cities is actually on a huge incline. St. Ambrose continues to grow, the downtown area is being rebuilt, and 53rd and Elmore continues to expand. I think this article may be more confused with the people that move back to be close to their family, which there is nothing wrong with. Something that many people nowadays don’t understand is the close bond a lot of kids have with the area, the state, and their family. Also living with your parents used to be a much bigger deal than it is now. Anyone who has gone to college lately should see how much debt kids leave with, sometimes giving them no other option than to stay with their parents to save money, or find a job anywhere as there are not many. This article is an attack on the areas that are listed more than an understanding of why this is.

          • Larry

            I am an Ambrose alum. Its great they expanding, but its not for the sake of the QC. THE QC has no jobs to support the grads there fore does not really reap the rewards except for becoming a college town- i.e. seasonal retail and restaurants. Adding retail to a downtown area (unless I missed some new businesses from a professional services, technology or other industry moving in) does nothing for a college grad. The majority of the SAU students are from Chicago and return or move there for employment. The area continues to blunder economic growth from a sustainable intellectual growth strategy.

          • Drew

            I agree. I just meant the area is getting bigger, not better for the college grad.

          • Heather

            Just funny that people like the author of this article and some of those who comment, have to see sons or daughters who live with, and in many instances take care of, an ill parent as something to disparage. I guess not everyone has loving parents who they enjoy spending time with so it’s understandable when an article like this pops up. Some people just can’t understand family bonds and love.

      • the_jwj

        As someone who moved to the Quad Cities from what was once considered the ‘meth capital of the U.S.’ I’ve got to say that if you grew up there you really don’t know how good you had it. Compared to where I came from it feels like a ‘big city’. I’ve done it and I worked my way through College in retail but I’m not sure why there is such a negative connotation with working in retail. One of the first things I noticed upon moving was that everyone (especially in retail) is generally very nice and helpful. Again, comparing to what I’m used to. Basically, this list is garbage any way you look at it as you could probably find the same amount of men living with their parents in any city.

    • dav man

      indeed! this article is a farse, with no real numbers to back it up, the
      populations of the first two cities alone prove this has no research
      behind it, I live in davenport and you can drive from one end to the
      other in ten minutes,

    • markbu

      Says the kid typing from his mom’s basement.

    • Lauren Ginsberg

      you know who developed this article? a writer for a satirical online magazine, a la the onion. looks like you’re the asshole.

  • Natalius

    The irony is that I guarantee a lot of men are living with their parents into their 30’s because in their 20’s they got screwed over by some “independent woman” who was independent enough to need them for every financial reason in the book until they were so loaded in debt the woman up and left leaving him to pay everything off.

    Well that was my story at least. Learned never to get a joint checking account. Doesn’t matter if her name was signed on the checks, the banks expected the man to pay off all the money owed.

    • NHG702

      That sucks man sorry, very understandable though. Sadly I don’t think it’s for any reason with most people, but rather that everyone is just lazy anymore.

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  • Marie Vincent

    Davenport is a “tiny” town? By itself it has a population of over 101,000–not tiny by any stretch of the imagination. But it is an anchor of an area with a total of nearly 500,000 people. Tiny? No. Hamlet, Illinois is tiny. Edina, Missouri is tiny. By starting your first sentence so inaccurately, you take away any credibility the rest of the article may have.

    • Adam Bieber

      Yeah…Davenport is not small…And then you have another 3 cities of similar size in the same area in about the space of about 15 mins travel. Hence the area being called “Quad cities”. I used to live in 2 of them and have been to all 4

  • JR

    Can you blame the men in Davenport? To leave home they have to be able to drive to a new place, and all of those one ways are fricken confusing! It’s safer to stay home and let Mom do the venturing forth.

    • Drew

      Ha!

  • Brett Gregory

    Chubby?!

  • Jimmy Quist

    I don’t know where your getting your facts, but Davenport isn’t exactly a small town. Its a city with a population of like 150,000 people. Its the largest city of the Quad City Metropolitan Area which has a population of nearly a half million people. Do the rest of your claims stray from the truth this badly?

    • Lauren Ginsberg

      um…this isnt a factual website. every article is supposed to be humorous and satirical. just read some other articles on here then you will see how ridiculous you are to get angry at this joke article.

  • Rich Talynt

    Dayton does not agree and the view from my house is beautiful so maybe you might want to look at the big picture instead of focusing on the negatives.

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  • Tiffany Anderson

    If you haven’t dated in the quad cities, don’t comment. It’s a sad state of affairs. I consider myself a lucky gal if I meet a guy who has the trifecta, job, vehicle and their own place to live.

  • Heather

    The only thing dumber than this article is anyone who actually shares it.

  • Neil Hopkins

    Amazed that people took a numbered list article on the internet seriously enough to get all huffy in the comments section.

  • Dustin

    No statistics given, no research cited, inflammatory language, almost a month old, nearly all the comments are new. http://thedamper.com/images/2129.jpg

  • Lon Pirkl

    Many times hard working farm families live together or close by. Their business is the farm seven days a week. No doubt some men in Davenport, Iowa live in the same house as their folks and are taking care of them.

    • WIlliam Vonnegut

      LOL, Davenport isn’t a farm town. The number of people in Davenport who are full time farmers is less than 1%.

  • Rick Dawson

    Grew up in Davenport and was forced to come back because of the 2001 Recession. I finally escaped the place and never looked back. The problem with the QC is it’s hard to find good paying jobs. Alcoa, John Deere or the Rock Island Arsenal is the best you can do. Add you don’t get a lot of new blood coming into the area and it’s a very Blue Collar town so you have a captive labor market that employers can low ball wages. Hard to find good pay and most of the people have no ambitious thus you still live with your parents.
    Plus, don’t get me started in many girls that don’t understand the concept of birth control. Lot of single moms with limited education.

    • Guest

      So many dumb single moms and deadbeat dads rocking TapOut shirts at Rookies.

  • guest

    Every city on this list is crappy so it really dont matter and yes I have been to them all.

  • WIlliam Vonnegut

    Good grief. Why is everyone so butt hurt? I was born, raised, and currently live in Davenport (although for obvious reasons, I was educated elsewhere), and I thought this was funny. Either this is Internet Serious Business day, or no one can take a joke about themselves.

    To all of you jags asking for citations of sociological research, please note this. THIS WAS A COMEDY ARTICLE!!! Please just get over yourselves.

  • Dennen Hansen

    I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. You… you all realize this entire e-magazine is satire right? This is like The Onion, but in response to Cosmo. You’re arguing about how a satirical article is insulting and unsubstantiated. No. Shit. Am I being trolled by 45 people all at once?

    • Lauren Ginsberg

      yeah…everyone who commented here is definitely a few cards short of a full deck :) i love reductress!!! :D

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  • tessii1

    Really? I live in Davenport and the guys are not a bunch of corn fed hillbillies. Our city is growing strong as Chicago and we have educated city men who do not live with their moms.