Looking for new ways to please your man and make him beg for more? Look no further! Except you really shouldn’t try these sex tips because you live at home and your parents are less than 20 feet away from you at all times and the screaming would make things super weird. Here’s how you could up your sex game if you could afford to move out:
Gaze deeply into each other’s eyes.
There is nothing more intimate than staring directly into your lover’s eyes. It will make you feel like you two are the only people in the world, that is until you hear your mom ask your dad to “look at what’s going on with her foot.”
Turn on some sensual music.
Think of a sexy song to blast, like Ginuwine’s “Pony” or something a little dirtier, and then remember that your parents go to sleep at 9pm and their bedroom is directly above yours. Do you still think going to that private college was worth it?
Experiment with food.
Watching your partner bite down on juicy strawberries or lick whipped cream off your finger will really spice things up, until your mom barges in asking why all the ingredients for her cake are missing. Don’t you think it’s time to look into an apartment now?
Light scented candles.
Just when you think your parents are gone grocery shopping for two hours, light some candles in the den to let the scent of wood and musk fill the room, until your father runs through every room of the house saying he smelled something burning. You will never sustain a relationship while living here.
Whether you’re playing the schoolgirl to his teacher, or you’re a patient and he’s your naughty nurse, the dialogue your parents overhear will freak them the heck out and create an irreparable emotional distance between you. Just give it up: you’re not getting any sex until you leave your parent’s house.
As you can see, just reading these hot foreplay moves is enough to get anyone’s motor running, which is awkward because you’re probably sitting with your mother as she watches reruns of The Closer. Time to start saving for your own place, you slacker!