Everybody knows there’s a thin line between bad drunk and disaster drunk—otherwise known as blackout drunk vs. Black Eyed Peas Karaoke Drunk. Here’s how to tell if you’re fucked up and about to embarrass yourself or phunked up and about to blow the roof off this Thursday night karaoke.
Check Your Phone
Have you been texting guys in your phone with the last name “Tinder?” Uh-oh, that means you’re black-out drunk and looking to hook up with any rando you can find! But if you can’t find your phone, you’ve probably chucked it behind the bar to run up and sing “Let’s Get It Started.” That means you’re Black Eyed Peas Karaoke Drunk. Again.
Warm Up Your Voice
Conduct an easy test by singing some scales. Do you think you sound fucking AMAZING and the whole world should hear your gift? That means you are probably blackout drunk. Unfortunately, if you can’t stand the sound of your own voice, that means you’re probably T-10 seconds from belting out some “Boom Boom Pow.”
Try to Name Three Black Eyed Peas Songs
If you can’t get past the two obvious ones, you’re definitely blacked out. But stick with the drinking and you’re likely going to start remembering a whole slew of Black Eyed Peas songs, even if you can’t remember your own address. Damn, girl! You are the perfect, Black Eyed Peas Karaoke Drunk and tonight’s definitely gonna be a good night!
What Do You Think Boobs Are Called?
If you call your breasts tits, melons, cans, hooters, or gazongas, you’re technically Black Eyed Peas Karaoke drunk! However, if you’re referring to your breasts as your “lovely lady lumps,” you’re actually blackout drunk. That one’s a tricky one!
Can You Say the Alphabet Backwards?
A blackout drunk person usually makes it to X before giggling and saying “This is stupid, officer!” But you’ll know you’re Black Eyed Peas Karaoke drunk if you make it at least a quarter of the way through before convincing everyone to do the limbo on the dance floor. You’re fun!!
So the next time you’re out drinking, just refer to this handy guide to make sure you’re the right amount of boozed up. Once you answer these questions, you’ll know if your night is ending with you vomiting in an Uber or taking over the karaoke microphone for three Black Eyed Peas songs in a row!