How to Install That New Emoji Keyboard When You’re Already Drunk

So you’re drunk group-texting your friends when one of them punctuates her gossip with the funniest YAS KWEEN gif, and it suddenly dawns on you that you NEED that emoji keyboard she’s using. “Wut. How’d u do tgat?” you text her. “Broad ICty Keygboard” she responds. So you download the app. But unfortunately you also have to install it or something? Here’s how.


Find the app.

Hmm, where is it? No, not in Notes. Whoa. You need to eat something. Ughhh this is why you need that taco emoji, like NOW.


Do what the app tells you.

It says to go into settings and turn on the…oh shit, what did it say? Go back and reread. Tell this guy at the bar not to leave, you just need to figure this out real quick. Something in Settings. Ask him if he knows how to turn on Settings? No, not turn on, like, activate… Wait, is he making a joke now?



Did you do that? There’s another step.

Okay wait, it’s not working. You can’t find the keyboard in texts yet. Your friend Crystal has Magic Mike emojis?! What?! Download that one too. This is taking too long. You want emojis!


This doesn’t work like the other emojis.

It’s making you what? You have to do two things. Wait, how do you get to it? You’re in the keyboard. Why is it not there?!!! Ughhh, you just want a taco. Open the Seamless app and see if they’ll deliver to this bar.


Consider Kimojis.

Is it worth the money? I mean there’s a red solo cup. You will use that. OMG your phone is dyng. You have so many texts to catch up on. Blegh, the regular emojis seem so boring now!!! How can you participate in this conversation?!



Just get Jena to explain it at brunch tomorrow.

You guys still need to pick a time and place. This would be so much easier with that emoji keyboard. How can you YAS KWEEN her suggestion? Howwwwwwughhhhhh.


You need to get in a cab. You spilled beer on your phone and now you’re not sure if it’s broken or just dead. This night is ruined!