Study Finds Psychological Benefit to Stalking Your Ex on Instagram Please

If you’re hung up on an old flame, a recent study out of McGill University has some good news for you: A team of researchers has found that there is, in fact, a psychological benefit to stalking your ex on Instagram – please, I need this.

 

When lead researcher, Dr. Lorna Warren, was questioned on the results of the study, she quickly clarified that a psychological benefit to stalking your ex on social media was actually not supported by their findings, but come on. Please, let me have this one thing. I am out of control.

 

“The basis of our inquiry was an attempt to understand the implications of consuming content from people we would otherwise not see on a daily basis while trying to recover from a life-changing event such as a breakup,” added Dr. Warren, who would really do me a solid if she were to say this was a totally good and normal thing.

 

Dr. Warren and her team of top psychologists probably worked tirelessly to ultimately discover that checking your ex’s Instagram every single day and taking frequent forays into their old posts you have already seen is, incredibly healthy behavior that promotes healing and general wellbeing.

 

“No,” said Dr. Warren. “Stalking your ex is not, in my professional opinion, a mentally healthy activity, particularly if it brings you corollary unhappiness.”

 

 

The doctor’s words are clear: Even if your incessant stalking of your ex doesn’t get them back, it will at least benefit you psychologically and give you the opportunity to just get over it. Come on; give me a silver lining here, please. I have created a burner account with which to view my ex’s Instagram stories. I made it a dogs walking in winter booties account because I thought that wouldn’t arouse suspicion but now it’s starting to gain a following and this is all spiraling out of control. I need this study to tell me it’s okay.

 

“Seeking out physical evidence of shared memories is a natural reaction to a breakup,” said Dr. Warren. “But, as the study shows, the advent of image-driven social media has really corrupted and intensified that process in a way that can be problematic.”

 

Well, you heard it here first. Stalking Jacob is good for me and I should never stop. Thanks, science!

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