Sharon to Spend The Next Four Years Patting Herself On The Back For Attending the Women’s March

Like millions of women across the nation, Sharon Patterson attended the Women’s March on Saturday, and after a satisfying day of empowerment and solidarity, now plans to spend the rest of the Trump administration patting herself on the back for attending.

 

“I’m really proud of myself for going to the March,” says Patterson. “It was a really great experience, and I’m glad I was able to stand up for the women in this country. It’s something I’ll remember and bring up in arguments forever.”

 

According to witnesses, the day after the march Patterson slept in until noon and took a nap again at three, missing the activist meet-up she had planned to attend with friends.

 

“I had such a long day marching for my rights that I absolutely deserve the rest,” Patterson says. “Besides, I don’t need to do something for my country every day, or even any time over the next four years. That march was a biggie!”

 

 

Friends of Patterson report that she is still very excited about the Women’s March, and mentions it frequently.

 

“She always talks about how cool it was, and how she feels like a real activist now. I recommended she call her senators if she wanted to partake in the political process more, but she said that march was much bigger than all of that,” says her friend, Alyssa.

 

When asked about what else she plans on doing to contest President Trump in the future, she simply responded by saying, “I’m just gonna wait until he’s not president anymore. Why? Isn’t that how this works?”

 

Friends also suggested she attend other marches and protests, for more specific issues like Black Lives Matter or for LGBTQ rights. But Patterson shrugged those ideas off by stating they “weren’t her thing.”

 

After celebrating with a day of “me” time, Patterson plans to post her pictures from the march and talk about the memorable experience about how she showed up that one time.

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