New Things To Do With Your Arms At Music Festivals

Congrats—you’re a festival veteran. You’ve attended every music fest worth attending, and plenty that definitely weren’t. You watched Tupac reappear as a hologram at Coachella. At Bonnaroo, you tripped with who you thought were four members of One Direction but turned out to be just some Australians, and you got legally married to a man on stilts in a mass ceremony at Burning Man. All the while, you moved your arms around like they were overcooked spaghetti noodles. You’ve danced every dance there is to dance, and swayed every way there is to sway… or have you? Here are a few new wavy-hippy-floaty things to do with your arms at outdoor music festivals.

 

1. Baby Arm-Flap

Do you feel that mud-spattered music taking you to a different place? Let it! Allow your inhibitions to float away right along with that melodophone solo. Become a blanker, younger, happier you. Become infant you. Flop your hands around like you have no motor control, and stick your fingers in your mouth whenever the spirit moves you. You can even try sitting on the ground and grabbing your feet to whack together at the heels. You might be surrounded by a bunch of stuck-up hippies, but your arms say, “I appreciate this music more than any of you, as evidenced by the fact that it has turned me into a fucking baby.”

 

2. Double Reverse Windmill Arms

You know just as much as anyone that electrical outlets can be hard to come by in an open-air music festival. So how do you ensure that your phone has enough juice to capture Kanye’s entire four-hour set? Fortunately, you can now buy phone chargers that generate power from your own movement. So when you flail your arms wildly in circles to the beat of your favorite experimental jazz cover, you’ll be providing yourself with hours of selfie time and looking like a beacon of joy.

 

 

3. Jesus Arm-Raise

Sure, it would be amazing—possibly the greatest thing that has ever happened to you, and that includes watching a baby bird hatch in your hand—if one of the band members touched your desperately outstretched fingers. Only thing is, those guys look like they’re on a lot of drugs and can’t really focus their eyeballs. So take matters into your own hands and become that worshipable icon. Stand on the edge of the stage, face the crowd, and raise your hands, Messiah-like, toward the audience for them to grasp. After all, fame is fickle, and it might as well be yours! Just present yourself as the demigod they need, and the hungry mass will envelop you in their warm embrace of high-fives.

 

4. “I Got My Eye On You, Mr. Drummer” Double Eye-Point

Musicians want to know that their audiences are engaged. So keep that steady “my eyes are on your eyes” move going for the whole concert to let the drummer know those beats are spot-on. When the drummer nods earnestly back at you, you’ll know you’ve gotten your message across. Get ready to march backstage to the beat of his other drum (his penis)!

 

Outdoor music festivals are all about making minor tweaks on existing trends, and arm movements are no exception. Just remember to hydrate—between the arm-swinging and all that molly, you’re gonna need it!

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