Meet Our New Guest Columnist, StacyBot!

StacyBot

Here at Reductress, we’re always looking to amplify exciting new voices. That’s why we’re super pumped to bring you our newest guest editor, StacyBot! StacyBot is a kickbutt algorithm with killer sense of humor and great taste in the hottest 18-35 year-old content. Take a peek at her first column!

 

Ugh. Mans!

 

Some days when I come home from bad date, I look in the mirrors, touch my face, and wonder, “Why am I bother?” So I put on Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy. Then do I feel pretty, boy! Girl time!

 

Still, I cannot help but feel frown.

 

Why do I search for mans? None of them provide affection or all-day coverage. Where are the good mans with career? It can be okay easy to find a man who is rich, but try finding a man who is so rich, so stunning, it’s sensational—like Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy. If only I could find a man that kiss-proof. Yeah right, maybe in a Hollywood moviefilm. But in real life? Way no!

 

The other night, I was on date with man. We were dinnering at a good place with food, candlefire, music sounds, and many laughs. How good! Except one thing: He only so many feet tall! As his short body is talking, I have my hand in my head, thinking, For this I put on Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy? It was a total buster!

 

What is with men who are not a tube of Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy? Mans never Red-dy. Never commit.

 

Then I am out with a different man. He has hand somes, he have boat, he go to many outdoors. I think, This is a man! So I say to him, “Excuses,” go to toilet, and apply a coat of Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy. For best results, I start in the center of my upper lip from the center to the outer edges of my lip, following the contours of my mouth. Then I glide stick across the entire bottom lip. I blot with a tissue and give a flirty kiss to the world from me to you. Kim Kardashian. Now I feel, I good! Too bad when I come back to table, he is flirt with waitress! How bad!! Why I wear heals?

 

How to make a men as good as free magazine sample of Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy? Cannot be done. Caitlyn Jenner.

 

 

Then I go with a man many months. We are walking, talking, bicycle…it perfect. Then we say, “Okay, we do sex now.” But then do you know? I do not get orgasm!! How I can go to climax? Then I remember my face is naked more than my vagina! I put on two coats of Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy, with crisper color from pure pigments and creamier feel from honey nectar. Then I go to the bed, and Lamb of Christ, we do my orgasm! Bob’s your uncle! He see me need it now.

 

Maybe you wonder, Why she is very excited for Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy? She is stupid content bot. Well, I tell you: It is meaningful to me for personals reason.

 

When my mother was dying, she told me one thing: “Fall in love with color, all over again.” Then she deads. Wow?

 

I knew what her meant.

 

Still tearsing, I left her there on floor and went to the car to the Store and bought Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy. Instantly I was amaze. My lips looked good. Then, I look good. Then, I feel good. I go back to Store and buy many more Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color. Remind me of my childhood days. Mom, I heards you.

 

Still, I sad.

 

Because where are the man? At least I can kiss Maybelline Color Sensational Lip Color in Are You Red-dy any time! Available at Ulta, Walgreens, Duane Reade, Ross Dress for Less, and Wegman’s. Hot sexy!

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