I Settled for His Slightly-Less-Hot Brother, Neil

I Lived it:

I was into Jason the second I locked eyes with his piercing baby blues. “Hi, I’m Jason,” he said. We had an instant connection. At that moment I knew that I wanted him to be the father of my children. I didn’t know it then, but as it turned out, I’d have to settle for him being the uncle of my children.


Despite years of friendship and flirting, Jason met a very attractive and new mortal enemy that he met in the Peace Corps. It appears as though they had a similar connection, because they were married a year later.


At his wedding, I met his best man, the slightly-less-hot brother Neil, who in certain lighting from behind, people sometimes confuse for Jason. Neil is the perfect compromise between Jason and not-Jason. He has the same parents, which means I will still get to spend holidays with Jason. And luckily, they’re Jewish so that means the holidays are like every two weeks.


Sure, it’s a downgrade. But if it’s dark outside or hard to see, you could easily mistake Neil for Jason. Even his parents say that. This is a fact I hold onto dearly.



Jason has a breathtaking ski-jump nose; Neil has a cute, looks-just-enough-like-Jason’s-nose. Jason works for an NGO, Neil does something in a building not that far from Jason’s office where you could feasibly stop by Jason’s if you were “in the area”. Jason has a great sense of humor; Neil laughs at Jason’s jokes and knows a lot of cool things about Jason’s life.


Neil just proposed, and I made sure his whole family was present at the engagement. Jason seemed happy for us, but it’s very possible he’s developing jealous feelings about his brother’s cool, laid-back fiancée.


Now Neil and I are getting married in the fall, and I know for sure that Jason is gonna be there. Jason, as Neil’s best man, will be standing up there with us at the altar, so I’m going to look my best. Just one foot away, when I squint to kiss Neil, it’ll be as close as I can currently get to kissing and marrying Jason.


I love you, Jason.