When people look at me, I know what they’re thinking: “Look, a girl.” But I’m so much more than that! That’s why I want to make it very clear that I’m not like most girls: I’m on the Supreme Court.
Most girls are into shopping and makeup, but that’s not me at all. I’m more of a laid-back, shorts and sneakers, drinking a beer while I change the landscape of American justice kinda chick. I’m like if an early Taylor Swift song came to life, and had advanced degrees in law.
In some ways, I’m one of the guys. Guys always have hilarious nicknames for each other, and they include me in that, too. They call each other “DickWeiner” or “Big Ham,” and it’s so funny when they call me “The Honorable Madame Justice!” We laugh about it all the time because I’m chill and can take a joke. Do you know other girls who guys would call “The Honorable Madame Justice”? Exactly.
Don’t get me wrong; I have nothing against most girls! I get dressed up every once in awhile. I’ll even wear a dress if it’s black, floor-length, and completely shapeless with a white collar that looks like your grandma made it at a craft store. But, I’m sorry; you won’t catch me in a mini-skirt because I’m one of the guys. One of the five guys that also wear shapeless black gowns and make important decisions that will shape the future of this great nation.
I know when you see most girls, they’re all running around like, “Oh my god, Brian hasn’t texted me back yet!” but that’s not me. I can’t stand that kind of stuff because I’m the kind of girl that can hang. I’m just over here like, “This is a violation of the Constitutional rights of millions of Americans, and this is my dissent.”
And I am sooooooo not into drama. Some girls like to make a big deal about stuff, but you don’t have to worry about that with this Supreme Court Justice. I don’t involve myself in other people’s drama, unless there’s a court case of national significance that I have to weigh in on. Honestly, at that point, I become VERY much about the drama.
So next time you think of me, don’t think, “Hey there she is, just a regular girl,” because I don’t want to be aligned with other girls. I’m different. I’m on the Supreme Court.
