I Refuse To Get Involved In Your Psycho Drama That I Caused

I hate drama. I really do. I’m a very non-combative person, and if I see negativity coming at me, I turn my back. It’s just the way I am.

 

So if you think you can drag me into your psycho drama that I caused, you can just step off.

 

Sorry, but I guess I didn’t realize that was your engagement ring. The diamonds were so small I could barely see them. How can you blame me? In fact, I’m still not sure there were any diamonds there at all. You have to wonder about a relationship where the guy gives you a ring with diamonds you can’t even see. Doesn’t exactly scream commitment. But hey—that’s not for me to judge. Leave me out of it.

 

Seriously, I thought it was at most a class ring. Anyway, are you sure Kyle isn’t seeing someone else? I never see you guys touching. How many times a week does he text you? Is it more than 5? Because he responded to my texts six times last week. Just saying. But I really don’t want to get involved.

 

Personally, I’ve always thought Kyle was gay.

 

 

That ring totally matched my bikini though. Seriously, it was like fate or something. I don’t know if you saw those pictures of me in that tiny beige crocheted bikini on Instagram. There were seven of them. One got 354 likes. OMG, wait a second—I look totally nude in those photos. OMG hahaha…I completely didn’t even realize. Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious. I’m totally tagging Kyle in these. I’d really prefer that you unfollow me though. I don’t want to make this a thing.

 

For the record, that suckerfish swallowed your ring of its own accord. It’s not like I shoved it down its throat. The fish saw something shiny and it went for it. It’s too bad you’re so committed to your toxic drama that I started that you can’t accept the natural ways of fish.

 

It’s nobody’s fault. The ring fell off. A fish ate it. It’s time to move on, and stop hounding me about it. I for one am trying to take the high road here.

 

Maybe if you didn’t want anybody to borrow that ring, you shouldn’t have left it out on your kitchen counter. By the way, you should get a day bed for your overnight guests; the air mattress deflated a little during the night.

 

I’m a peaceful person: Once I cause drama in your life, I’m out. I turn the other cheek. I wish you luck in your road to recovery from toxic anger. Remember: We choose to be happy.

 

Or at least I do.

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