Following a series of disappointing misadventures, Kirsten Allory has decided that she will not pursue anything new unless she’s perfect at it on the first try.
We’re amazed that this woman is willing to give up so quickly!
“I’ve gotten into a few hobbies lately, just to mix things up,” said Kirsten. “But after a few weeks of not being amazing at any of them, I was bummed out. So I’m choosing not to try anything else unless I am able to be perfect at it on day one.”
Ms. Allory went on to describe the different activities she attempted and then promptly abandoned.
“Rock climbing didn’t work for me right away, and neither did long-distance cycling,” said Kirsten, who is not in the physical shape to be immediately good at any sport.
“I even tried getting into makeup,” she added. “But after watching a single youtube tutorial and applying eyeshadow once, I still wasn’t an expert. So I wasn’t gonna waste anymore time trying things I clearly wasn’t meant to do.”
Wow, Kirsten is really trying hard to not try hard!
Friends of Ms. Allory have expressed their confusion at her even-less-than-half-baked endeavors.
“She’s really not doing herself any favors,” said Lynn Perez, Kirsten’s best friend. “I don’t know how she thinks she’s ever going to improve at anything if she keeps giving up after one try.”
“Kirsten puts no effort into anything,” added Blake Kern, another friend. “Then she’s surprised when she realizes she’s not good at anything! Either she doesn’t get that perfection doesn’t come overnight, or her ego is too big to accept any minor speedbumps. I think it might be the latter.”
But Kirsten is paying them no mind.
“Why would I keep trying at something that I’m not instantly good at?”, she said. “If Olympians can be great right away, and actors can be amazing without requiring any kind of training, I can too! I just haven’t found my thing yet.”
If you say so, Kirsten!