In an unbelievable demonstration of willpower, Lara Kenney spent three months getting so in shape by eating clean and doing pilates that her friends stopped inviting her to their weekly Sunday brunch.
Incredible that she spent so many months prioritizing her health that she’s no longer fun or relatable to the people she used to call her closest friends!
“I’ve never had abs before now so that’s exciting,” says Kenney. “I do have to say I am devastated that I’m no longer welcome to brunch with my friends.”
According to Kenney’s brunch friends, they had no choice but to stop inviting her to Roberta’s on Sundays.
“Lara has gotten really fit and we’re really happy for her! We just don’t really want to look at her,” says Connie Flatley, Kenney’s friend. “No one wants to see a toned body while sipping on a mimosa! We love her, but she’s not welcome back.”
“We used to all split the waffle a la mode and say, ‘we’re so bad’ but after Lara started working out she would opt out of the waffle,” says Ingrid Smith, another ex-friend of Lara’s. “You can’t just opt out of the waffle!”
“What is she, the queen of willpower and healthy choices?” says Nancy Donavan, Lara’s third gal pal. “She can honestly go die on the elliptical for all I care! Wait, maybe that’s too much.”
Wow, pretty cool how these women have banished their friend because they are threatened by her ability to do something good for herself for once!
“I like the way I feel now. I’m stronger and more confident than ever,” says Lara. “I don’t understand why I’m being ostracized from the brunch group. Are these girls really so petty that me being fit jeopardizes their livelihoods?
“Yes, we are that petty,” says Connie, as Ingrid and Nancy nodded behind her in agreement.
At the conclusion of this interview, Lara’s phone beeped and she jumped up.
“Sorry, I have to do thirty squats now,” says Lara, excitedly. “Otherwise I won’t hit my calorie burn for the day.”
Wow, she is really annoying now! We wouldn’t invite her to brunch either!