How to Introduce Sex Toys Without Turning It Into a Funeral For His Dick

Sex toys can add a lot of pleasure to your relationship, but they can also make your guy feel really insecure about what he’s working with. He may start wondering if what he has is good, or bad or even needs to be there anymore, so it’s important you’re sensitive when whipping out the vibrator. Here’s how to introduce sex toys without turning it into a funeral for his dick.

 

Don’t bring your vibrator out in a casket.

This one’s a huge no-no. If you don’t want your man thinking sex toys mean the end of his dick’s life, then don’t bring your vibrator out in a casket. That’s a surefire way to make him worry you’re about to swap his dick for your Rabbit, and then bury his dick in the ground. Bring your vibrator out in something normal, like the box it came in, or your hands. That way he’ll understand you’re trying to experiment, not toll the bell for his deceased dick.

 

 

Don’t play the funeral march.

Get him in the mood to screw around with your bullet by playing mood music like Sexual Healing. Definitely don’t play the funeral march. Bringing out your teeny-tiny vibrator to melancholic organ music arranged for a funeral procession will only terrify him into thinking that it’s his dick that has died. Assure him it hasn’t by playing strictly non-funeral music, and he’ll feel much more confident that pleasing you with a toy doesn’t mean a tiny hearse is on its way to pick up his dead dick.

 

Don’t whisper “R.I.P” to his penis.

No matter what you do, don’t whisper “R.I.P” to his penis. This will make him believe you know something about the demise of his penis that he doesn’t. And you don’t! You’re just showing him the magic wand you bought and saying, “Hey, want to use this on my vagina instead of your penis going in and out?” There’s no way he could take that as a threat to the life, or masculinity of his penis unless you get real close and whisper, “R.I.P.” So don’t do that. Maybe say something nice instead, like, “I will let it live for now.”

 

Men can sometimes feel like using a sex toy means a wake will soon be held for their penises, so reassure your man that’s not the case with these helpful tips. He’ll be much more open to the idea, and grateful you’ve spared the life of his member.

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