Hangover Remedies That Won’t Help You Find Your Lost Debit Card

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Did you go wild last night? No worries, girl. That intense headache and sloshy nausea you’re feeling won’t be there forever! With these remedies, you’ll be able to kiss that hangover goodbye—but none of these remedies will ever, ever get your lost debit card back. Nope. These amazing hangover remedies won’t help you there.

 

Ginger

Ginger is an ages-old remedy for nausea and vomiting. This also works for before a night of heavy drinking too—it’s preventative for hangover symptoms, though it will do nothing to fix your moment of terrible judgment when you left your debit card in a weird place you don’t normally put it. Last you remember you were trying to stuff it down your shirt because you couldn’t find your purse. Oh god, where’s your purse?

 

Carbs

Just like when you were sick as a kid, basic carbs like toast and crackers are good for an upset stomach. A carb-heavy meal will raise your blood sugar, which will give you more energy. It won’t, however, track the precise location of your debit card, which you lost last night somewhere between drunk-texting Jared, “wher r uuuuu butt” and vomiting in an Uber. Is it in the room right now? Should you cancel the card? Carbs will not answer any of these questions.

 

 

Water and Bed

The only thing that will cure this monster hangover is time and hydration. Gulp down a glass of water, then crawl back into bed, past to the grocery bag of puke you left on the floor, and sleep the nightmare away. When you wake up, things will be better. Unless, of course, you have to buy something. Because your debit card is lost forever and it’s never coming back because you lost it. Maybe it’s time to make some changes in your life?

 

Don’t worry—no hangover lasts forever! But losing your debit card lasts several days. With these remedies, you’ll be feeling better in no time, until you think of your lost debit card. Then you’re going to feel like shit.

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