4 Modern Dating Trends That Make Your Grandma Say, ‘If I’d Been That Picky, You Never Would Have Been Born’

Dating has always been hard. But these days, finding a suitable long-term relationship can seem almost impossible. Well, not according to your Nana! Here are four modern dating trends that will make your grandma say, “If I’d been that picky, honey, you never would have been born.”



Ugh. Getting phubbed, the modern phenomenon that is ignored by your date for their phone, is not only annoying – it’s just plain rude. Anyone who will blow you off in favor of relentlessly checking their Twitter feed is not worth pursuing a relationship with. Unless you ask your gramma, who thinks you’re being too persnickety about the issue and should learn to deal with it if you ever want to settle down. That’s what they did back in her day! If she had been this picky, you literally would not be here today.



So this guy gives you teeny, tiny bits of affection that he holds back until you’re juuust about ready to give up on him? He’s totally breadcrumbing you! This is one of those contemporary dating ills that’s a sure sign a dude is probably not that interested, and definitely not relationship material, despite your meemaw saying that it just means he’s playing hard to get and you’re being too finicky and things were different when she was looking for a husband. Don’t you want a family?!



You’re seeing a guy multiple times a week, sleeping over all the time, but he won’t post any pictures of you to his social media or introduce you to any of his friends. You’re being stashed! You’re certain you can find someone better than that, but your Geema obviously disagrees. She thinks you’re gonna be all alone unless you ignore all the bad – like she did with your Grandfather! Your clock is ticking, missy!




We all know what ghosting is. But what’s even worse is the new trend of zombie-ing, or disappearing without a word and then popping back up later on as if nothing ever happened! You deserve better than a zombie, even though your Gam Gam thinks you’re getting a little old to be dictating what you deserve and you should really be less fussy and learn how to see the silver linings in a guy because you don’t have too much time left to be fresh on the market and you don’t want to end up an old maid like her sister Karen who was fussy just like you and missed the boat on getting married and having babies and then died. That’s how Gam Gam did it and she did just fine with Pop Pop!


Dating these days can be a huge drag. But now you’ll have no problems spotting these modern dating trends and being too picky about them for your Grandma’s liking. Bubbe knows best!


view all comments hide comments

Comments are closed.