Thoughts ARCHIVES

Please Do Not Compare My Stretch Marks to Battle Scars, I Have Not Yet Proven Myself In Combat

I LIVED IT: My Gynecologist Refused to Teach me to Queef on Command

Dude Corner: I Wish Someone Had Warned Me Woody Allen Was a Monster

Just Because I’m in a Long-term Relationship Doesn’t Mean I’m Not a Messy Bitch

Why I Believe All Women Who Accuse Republicans of Sexual Misconduct

How This Dog Wearing a Propeller Hat Saved Our Marriage

Why I Stopped Trying to Please Others and Started Eating Every Meal Off the Blade of a Knife

I Don’t Care Who My Daughter Brings Home, as Long as They Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans

I Don’t See Race, But I do See the Sun Baby From the ‘Teletubbies’ Whenever I Look at the Sky

Help! I Slipped on Ice and Prefer it Down Here!

DUDE CORNER: I’m Gonna Need More Evidence on Whatever You’re About to Say

If Cancel Culture Isn’t Real, Then Why Did I Just Shatter My Hymen Trying to Land a Kickflip?

Ted Cruz Is Proof You Can Get Away With Anything if You’re Ridiculously Hot

Why I Believe Women Should Wear Whatever They Want and Men Should Dress Like Cary Grant Again

I Might Be Perfect on the Outside, But on the Inside My Socks Are Sliding Down

I’m Not Looking for a Soul Mate, Unless That’s a Real Thing, in Which Case, Obviously I Want That

I LIVED IT: They Turned My Head Into A Lime For A Gushers Commercial and Never Changed It Back

Why We Must Abolish Prisons Unless It’s the One From the Movie ‘Chicago’

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