News BREAKING: Change The Subject, You’ve Been Talking About Yourself For Too Long In a shocking development out of San Diego, your friends have stopped listening to you speak.
Style 5 Fit-and-Flare Dresses That Say, ‘My Ass Is A Cone!’ Why else would the skirt be shaped like that?
Thoughts I’m Not Like Other Girls. I’m A Self-Help Guru Running For Healer Of The Free World I’m a full-grown cult leader here to change the spiritual fabric of this dying corporeal world we call a “nation.”
Thoughts Allow Me To Set You Up With Some Guy There are so many reasons why you would be perfect together. One, you’re a single woman. Two, he’s a single guy!
News Woman Shocked to Discover She’s Been Working for 60 Minutes Straight Somehow she did this without checking email, social media, group texts or even going to the bathroom.
Style This Wet-Look Hairstyle Will Make You Look Like You Just Came Out Of Your Mother’s Womb Be sure to set with hairspray to keep your wet, squinty-eyed “searching for a taste of a nipple” look intact.
Thoughts If All Student Loan Debt Is Cancelled, How Will I Have An Automatic Advantage Over My Peers? What good is freedom once everybody has it?
Style Linen Maxi Dresses that Say, ‘I Have a Son Named Phinneas’ Phinneas is a tender and thoughtful boy.
Thoughts How I Make $100,000 a Year From Home by Being Married to My Husband, Mr. Slick Dick Richy Rich I’ve unlocked the key to financial freedom!
News REPORT: Ben Having One of His Handsome Days “He should hit up a bar after work or at least take a new profile picture before tomorrow rolls around.”
Style 5 Summer Sandals for Your Cat to Barf In These sandals are perfect for summer and even more perfect for your cat to leave a massive pile of puke in that you’ll find a day later.
Living Bridal Shower Gifts That Say, ‘Do You Know I Hooked Up With Greg In College?’ Here are some gifts to let her know your dirty secret in a way that isn’t weird at all.
News BREAKING: Halloween Kind Of Soon?!??!?! “June’s almost over, and then July happens, and October is only two months away from August.”
Style 3 Jumpsuits to Make This Wedding About You Bring the focus of the event back to where it belongs: you and that jumpsuit!
News Woman Spends Record-Breaking 13 Months Worrying That Someone She Hates Doesn’t Like Her “Aside from the fact that I hated him, we got along really well.”