BREAKING: Change The Subject, You’ve Been Talking About Yourself For Too Long

In a shocking development out of San Diego that is bringing unprecedented chaos to your self-awareness, it appears that, shit, you need to change the subject because you have been talking about yourself for way too long.


People around you have that look on their face, indicating they are beginning to zone out and think to themselves, “Wow, this bitch will just not shut up about herself,” and that is not a good look, hun.



As your audience (of friends) begins letting their minds wander to something else they actually care about — or worse, looking for a way to pivot the conversation back to themselves — you recognize that this needs to stop.


As fun as it is to flex your own voice and meditate on how amazing it sounds, you realize it is finally time to pivot the conversation by opening a question to the floor: “Anyways, what’re you guys watching on TV nowadays?”


When Jen mentions she started The Office again because she heard it’s leaving Netflix, you slowly realize you’ve lost control. Fuck.


You try to recover, letting everyone know everything you think about this season of Big Little Lies, only to be immediately interrupted by Jen’s lighthearted thoughts on the workplace sitcom.


“This is why things like ‘the talking stick’ exist,” your friend Mallory commented, somehow putting your thoughtful insights on the same footing as Jen’s random blathering.


At press time, you gladly announced that you would be happy to “discuss more later,” leaving them always wanting more!