No one is perfect, but like Oprah says, “When you know better, you do better.” Thankfully, we all know that there are some critical mistakes we make, just by being women. Out of all the egregious errors we make as women, here are the worst mistakes that you are probably making right now. Now go do better, women!
Mistake #1: Being Born a Woman
This was your first big misstep, and a tough one to bounce back from. Even though you could hit the rewind button, go back to the womb, and change that Y chromosome, it’s pretty much too late! You can’t dwell on the past, so your only option is to make the best of what you have. This might be hard, though, cause you’re a woman.
Mistake #2: Getting Your Period
This is the most disgusting mistake you could have made. What were you thinking? Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and go back to that moment in your pre-pubescent years – think about what you could have done differently. Could you have eaten a bit less? Taken birth control a little bit more? Sometimes even our worst mistakes are learning experiences we can grow from, you disgusting female human.
Mistake #3: Having Breasts
We get it, sister! Everyone has made a poor choice in their past – especially their teen years. While there is no excuse for growing boobs, there is a little something called ‘forgiveness’. It’s time you forgive yourself for this and move on, you useless C cup.
Mistake #4: Getting Older
As a woman, this one is the easiest habit to fall into and the worst to recover from. This is one where you just have to draw the line and say, “This nonsense stops here.” You’re making us look bad as a gender and we need to come together to put an end to this, once and for all. Look at what it’s doing to Hillary Clinton!
The good news is this is something that you can actively make a choice to change in this very moment, so do the right thing for your gal pals everywhere and seriously just stop all of these things right now, you haggard old boob-haver.