It’s another monotonous day in quarantine, but today, things feel…off. Something about your body just doesn’t feel right; could it be that you have the dreaded novel coronavirus, or have you just not had your daily Diet Coke yet? Take this quiz to find out:
What’s your energy level like?
- I’m feeling fatigued and out of it.
- I’m fine, but something is missing to really just make things better.
Do you have a dry cough?
- Yes, I have a dry cough.
- No. But my tongue yearns for something tangy and sweet and good.
Is it possible you been exposed to someone with COVID-19 within the last two weeks?
- I did go grocery shopping for my family two days ago.
- No, I haven’t left the house in over 4 weeks, and I typically get contactless delivery for most of my groceries, including but not limited to, but also mostly, diet coke.
Take a sip of Diet Coke. What are you experiencing?
- The carbonation is refreshing, but I can’t taste it. It’s also irritating my throat quite a bit.
- Pure bliss. The sun just peeked through the clouds and a bird landed in front of the window. I smile at the bird and it smiles back. I am one with nature, the world, the universe.
Results:
Mostly 1’s : We’re not doctors but it sounds like you might have coronavirus symptoms. If these are legit you should talk to a doctor. Also definitely don’t decide to go outside and make out with a neighbor or anything.
Mostly 2’s: I mean, unless you’re tested there’s no way to really know if you don’t have coronavirus, but it really sounds like you’re just a little bit addicted to your daily diet coke. But hey, it’s quarantine, you don’t have to address your slightly unhealthy habits immediately. Have a sip, and relax!
