Everyone knows the hardest part about having a baby, including labor, is picking a name for your little one. There are so many beautiful names out to choose from, but we are here to help you find the name that will have everyone asking each other, “Hmm…Why did she choose that?” Here are seven baby names that are guaranteed to have people react with a big ol’ “Hmmmmm…..K.”
Therese
This name is the opposite of timeless and your book club friends won’t let you forget it! When you finally shared your baby name with them, they made comments behind your back like, “That sounds like an ugly flapper’s name!” And they’re right, it does! You might as well put a sign on Therese that reads, ‘BULLY ME’ since every person who hears her name will say, “Wowww…K!”
Shell
We love that your husband proposed to you on a beach, but this by no means gives you permission to name your sweet baby Shell. What if Shell wants to have any job ever? When Shell introduces itself at an interview, Shell will be met with a whopping, “Da fuck is that name?! Hm…must be bad parents!” And you are bad parents! Why the fuck did you do that??
Paris
This should be a city, not a person! What if Paris goes to Paris? What will the Parisians say?? Probably something like, “COMMENT? PARIS? NON NON NON NON NON ZUT ALORS!’ And your baby will be exiled!
Doutzen
This is the name of a Victoria’s Secret model but that doesn’t excuse it from being unacceptable. So if you’re not 100% sure you’re going to have a baby that looks good in a bikini, DO NOT NAME HER DOUTZEN! People will meet your ugly-ass Doutzen and say, “…K!”
Ricola/Ricotta
One is a cough drop brand and one is cheese, but your child won’t live to experience these things if you name her this because she deserves to be ruined. And as she breathes her last breath, we’ll say to her, “Ricola/Ricotta,…..K.”
Garpy
This is a baby name we came up with, but if you do name her this, she’ll literally kill herself and at her funeral the priest will say, “Garpy??? Hmm….K!”
With all the baby names out there, it’s hard to find the right ones that will make people say, “Wow!” or “Cool!” But at the very least, avoid these fucking ridiculous baby names so that nobody will utter the words “Hmm…” or “….K” when you introduce your child at baby violin camp this summer.
