Are you a bigmouth skeptic who isn’t great at knowing when she’s put a knife through her own skirt on accident? Did a boy from your Halloween party just dare you to go down to the cemetery, stand on the old witch’s grave, and plunge a knife into the ground to prove you were there? Are you panicking because you don’t have anything to wear for the occasion? We’ve got you covered. Here are the five most necessary skirts for dying of fright.
Linen Midi Skirt with Belt (Asos, $30)
This kicky, vintage-inspired midi is a must-have for any loudmouth girl looking to prove something to her silly friends who still believe in scary stories. Its wide belt nips in at the natural waist, creating an hourglass silhouette for any soon-to-be-dead body type. However, the rest of the fabric billows out in a perfect circle, giving you full range of motion to desperately try and escape the “witch’s grasp” (which will be naught but your own knife pinning your skirt to the ground).
Breathtaking Tiger Lilies Skirt in Navy (ModCloth, $49.99)
It’s right there in the product name—this skirt will literally take your breath away! ModCloth is chock full of amazing finds, any of which you’d be happy to die in. With its attached belt and playful pleats, you’ll be the essence of schoolmarm chic while muttering, “There’s nothing to be scared of. It’s just a stupid story.” Available in many stabbable colors!
Xiaolizi Full Grey Wool Skirt (Etsy, $79)
There’s nothing like wearing tailor-made clothing in a haunted graveyard after dark! Once you commit to proving to those babies that there’s no such thing as witches, slip into this grownup ankle-skimming midi and take off confidently toward your ironic death. Plus, it has effing pockets!!!
The Jenny Skirt in Spiderweb Print (Pinup Girl Clothing, $98)
Boooo! This spooky skirt is great for girls who know that Halloween is fun, but that’s all it is—witches and ghosts and haunted graveyards are all made up. Of course, your last thought on this earth will be, “She’s got me! The witch has got me!” because the high-quality cotton hem will form a tight hold around your misplaced blade. Cute!!!
Tall Premium Satin Midi Skirt (Asos, $98.53)
You will literally die over this edgy-but-ladylike midi! The shiny fabric will catch the last glints of streetlight as your breathless friends watch you disappear into the old churchyard. While it may look like a precious designer piece, it’s a steal at $100 and is machine washable, which you’ll remember while wondering if maybe the witch will drag you down through her grave all the way to Hell. Talk about grass stains!
And there they are: five splurge-worthy midis to wear while dying of fright after a dare gone wrong. If that witch weren’t an urban legend, your look would totally make her reach up out of her grave and grab onto these skirts for real! They are to die for!
