Dating is all about getting to know your new flame, unless you’ve Googled him ahead of time and already know what he’s about to tell you. Here are some facts about your new guy that you will have to pretend you don’t know to keep the magic of dating alive:
He Loves Kids, Especially His Nieces
By searching for photos of your guy on Facebook, you can tell that he is completely enamored of his twin nieces and is a truly wonderful uncle. It looks like he only sees them two times a year, but from the way he throws them up in the air for a well-timed photo op, you just know that he’d make a great dad. If you feel like you might let it slip that you know about them, just remember: a woman never brings up kids on a first date!
He’s Had Three Long-Term Relationships
Based on your stalking, he is definitely a relationship guy! By searching through his Facebook photos, plus the history of tagged photos on Instagram, you can tell that he is a guy who knows how to be a good boyfriend. Clearly, he has had enough practice to be ready for marriage. Now, don’t drink the last of the rosé or else you might slur out that his last girlfriend wasn’t that pretty and he can do way better!
His Mother is Dead
Yikes, after you found the Facebook pages of all of his siblings, aunt, uncles and cousins, you also happened to accidentally stumble on the fact that his mother passed away a few years ago. It would have been nice to have a genuine reaction to that news, but you can play it cool. Just remember not to delve into your college course on grief psychology and the fact that after a parental loss, men are more likely to settle down within a few years and that no one wants to die alone, especially you. And definitely avoid mouthing his words when he tells you how it happened.
His Mugshot
After some pretty heavy digging, you managed to find a mug shot from when he was 18 and wow, he’s so photogenic! Luckily it was only for public nudity which is like, barely even a crime, right? It’s not like he’s a registered sex offender (though you should totally Google that to make sure). Wow, you never would have guessed this one with his clean-cut look and his new boat shoes!!
With some stealth Google searching, you can find out if your date has given up on goals and gotten down with settling. Just make sure you never reveal how much you stalked him until after you’re married.
