What It’s Like Living Birthday Check to Birthday Check

Thoughts

Help! I Applied Too Much Coconut Oil And Transformed Into A Lithe, Sexual Harbor Seal

Before I knew it, my arms were half their original length and also webbed, and all I craved was fresh fish and seal dick.

Entertainment

QUIZ: Would Lorde Think You’re Cool?

Are you containing the wisdom of generations of heartbreak enough for Lorde to think you are cool?

Love and Sex

How to Trick Him into Thinking ‘27 Dresses’ is the Latest Bourne Movie

He’ll never know that the movie you’re watching is actually a rom-com and not the next film in a spy thriller series.

News

Scientists Reveal The Real Reason We Have Sex And They Don’t

Finally! Science has discovered a reason for why many humans choose to have sex, while scientists do not.

Style

These Hot Summer Hair Color Trends are Everywhere Including My Boyfriend’s Bed

He’s definitely bringing girls over, right?

Love and Sex

Please Accept My Depression Without Trying to Fix Me, Or My IKEA Dresser

Please stop looking at my dresser and me like one of us is going to collapse at any minute.

Style

4 Midi Skirts That Will Always Say, ‘I’m Late for Temple’

Beat the heat with these adorable skirts!

News

Woman Arrives Late With Coffee and Breakfast From Two Different Places

“She said the trains were all fucked,” says her boss, Amadi Lanata.

Style

4 Liquid Lipsticks that will Last You Through the National Hot Dog Eating Contest

Here are the liquid lipsticks with the staying power for you and your hot dog-eating needs.

Love and Sex

Mindblowing Sex Tips That Will Still Only Get You a Text Saying, ‘That Was Fun’

Even though you twisted your body into a fuckable pretzel last night, don’t get your hopes up.

News

Tampax Introduces New Tampon That Screams When it’s Ready to Come Out

Users can choose between “high pitched screech,” “guttural sob,” or “woman saying ‘oh my god no.’”

Thoughts

Why Millennials are DESTROYING My Vagina

I’ve concluded that the vast majority of them are extra enthusiastic about a trip to bone-town.

News

Scientists Discover How to Fucking Text Me Back

“It’s not that hard, asshole,” says lead researcher Saanvi Agarwal.

Style

5 Summer Bralettes That Will Support You About as Much as Your Ex Did

Here are the summer bralettes that will give you the same amount of support your ex did at his best!

News

Woman Asks For Googleable Directions As Though Technology Nonexistent

Why is she asking me to type in directions for her like she didn’t just text me on a phone?

Thoughts

Help! I Called Myself a Queen and Now I’m Being Pressured to Produce a Male Heir

Why can’t a girl just say what she wants without being forced to produce the one ruler who will save the kingdom?

Style

7 Weed Socks That Say, ‘I Haven’t Washed These In Weeks’

And for a pothead like you, that means wearing the same pair of weed socks all month without even noticing.

Love and Sex

Is It Love at First Sight or Is The Sun Just Behind Him?

Is he the one you’re meant to be with or is the sun just physically behind him and making him look cool?

News

Even Pointy ‘S’ Drawing Thing From Middle School to Wed This Summer

According to rumors, the pointy ‘S’ thing is marrying her college boyfriend, who works in finance.

Living

5 Summer Cocktails That Are Almost As Good As Fruitopia

These tasty cocktails just won’t be quite as good as Fruitopia, which was phased out in the early 2000s.

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RECENT POSTS

What It’s Like Living Birthday Check to Birthday Check

Help! I Applied Too Much Coconut Oil And Transformed Into A Lithe, Sexual Harbor Seal

QUIZ: Would Lorde Think You’re Cool?

How to Trick Him into Thinking ‘27 Dresses’ is the Latest Bourne Movie

Scientists Reveal The Real Reason We Have Sex And They Don’t

These Hot Summer Hair Color Trends are Everywhere Including My Boyfriend’s Bed

Please Accept My Depression Without Trying to Fix Me, Or My IKEA Dresser

4 Midi Skirts That Will Always Say, ‘I’m Late for Temple’

Woman Arrives Late With Coffee and Breakfast From Two Different Places

4 Liquid Lipsticks that will Last You Through the National Hot Dog Eating Contest

Mindblowing Sex Tips That Will Still Only Get You a Text Saying, ‘That Was Fun’

Tampax Introduces New Tampon That Screams When it’s Ready to Come Out

Why Millennials are DESTROYING My Vagina

Scientists Discover How to Fucking Text Me Back

5 Summer Bralettes That Will Support You About as Much as Your Ex Did

Woman Asks For Googleable Directions As Though Technology Nonexistent

Help! I Called Myself a Queen and Now I’m Being Pressured to Produce a Male Heir

7 Weed Socks That Say, ‘I Haven’t Washed These In Weeks’

Is It Love at First Sight or Is The Sun Just Behind Him?

Even Pointy ‘S’ Drawing Thing From Middle School to Wed This Summer

5 Summer Cocktails That Are Almost As Good As Fruitopia