I LIVED IT: I Slapped a Stranger’s Child but No One Made a TV Show About It

In a horrible turn of events last week, I ended up slapping a total stranger’s child when they pushed my daughter on the playground, and the worst part is that no one decided to turn it all into a TV show airing on network TV.

 

I guess life just isn’t fair!

 

Even though the TV miniseries The Slap premiered eight years ago with a star-studded cast including Thandiwe Newton, Uma Thurman, Zachary Quinto, Brian Cox, Peter Sarsgaard, and Lucas Hedges, for some reason no one who saw me slap a random five-year-old at the park thought about creating another amazing ensemble to illustrate what exactly went down and how it changed us all forever.

 

I know for a fact that one of the parents who was there works for Hulu, and yet they haven’t reached out to me at all in regards to signing a release for my story. They also blocked me on Facebook so I couldn’t even let them know that I was available to consult on the prospective show!

 

I guess no one wants to watch good TV anymore?

 

 

I admit that I was completely in the wrong for slapping a young child. Obviously, corporal punishment is never the answer, especially when it comes to someone else’s kids. But even though I know that now, how many people in this country still don’t? Just something to think about for anyone reading this who happens to work in the industry.

 

You could also argue that since they already made a show about an adult slapping another person’s child, and it kind of flopped, they don’t need to make one again. But I just want to say that my situation was completely different because I wasn’t at a child’s birthday party like the 2015 show, and I actually think it would do a lot better this time around if we got a great director like Hiro Murai attached to the production.

 

I’m almost starting to feel I slapped a stranger’s kid for nothing.

 

The aftermath of this event has definitely taken a toll on my family and the family of the child I slapped, but I can’t help but feel like a TV show being made about the whole situation would somehow bring us all closer together, and would maybe even get the child’s parents to drop their charges against me for assault. Pilot season is right around the corner, so here’s hoping!