I LIVED IT: The Person I Don’t Want to Date Doesn’t Want to Date Me

Last week, I told my long-time FWB Kevin I want to keep it casual between us and he immediately responded: “I’m so glad we’re on the same page.”


I have never been so devastated.


I definitely do not want to date Kevin, but what reason does he have to not date me? Our conversations are terrible and we don’t have any shared interests, but I stay in it for the sex and because presumably I’m the best thing that ever happened to him.


I considered for a second that maybe I had misunderstood him or that he was only saying this to conceal his true feelings. But a second later, he expounded on exactly what he meant by the comment.


“It’s just sex and absolutely nothing more between us,” he said. “And I love that!”


What?! I thought we both agreed that the reason we weren’t dating was his bad personality. But if he sees me the way I see him, I have serious reason to be offended!



I had to say something, because he was clearly awaiting my response as he scrolled through Instagram reels and itched his balls.


“Listen,” I said. “What if you did date me? Would that be so crazy? Would that be the most ridiculous idea in the world?”


He thought for a moment before replying: “Haha, yes!”


I had heard enough. I left his apartment frazzled and confused. Don’t get me wrong–-I like casual sex as much as the next girl, but I thought casual sex meant the other person is also secretly in love with you. Otherwise, what’s the point of it all?


Have we strayed so far from the notion of love that there are people out there who are not secretly in love with me? Could that be possible?


I knew there was only one thing left to do. Despite the concerned advice from several well-meaning friends, I decided to devote myself to making my long-time FWB Kevin change his mind about me, even though he’s the worst guy I’ve ever met. If everything stays on track, we should be engaged by the end of this spring.