In an upsetting story out of your home, you are unable to view a person she doesn’t know’s private Instagram account.
“Sure, maybe I don’t technically know my cousin’s boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s best friend,” you said. “But to cruelly lock me out of her life by having an Instagram only viewable by approved followers? That seems deeply personal and fucked up.”
Um, what the hell???
“I was just trying to do some research on the kind of person my cousin’s significant other associates with, that’s all,” you explained. “I’m over here trying to be a good and loving and supportive family member and I am disrespected by this literal stranger. I’ve never felt more hurt.”
And the cousin’s boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s best friend in question is understandably confused.
“Of course I have a private Instagram, I’m a middle school teacher,” said McKenzie Shroud. “I don’t want my kids to be able to see me shotgunning beers in my stories every weekend. Why, who is asking?”
What else is she hiding???
“I don’t ask for much in this life,” you said. “A comfortable home, food to eat, and the ability to creep on any given stranger on Instagram without obstacle. This honestly feels like a hate crime.”