Maintaining trust might be one of the most difficult things to manage in a long-term relationship. The next hardest thing might be The Lift from the 1987 film, Dirty Dancing. So how do you move on when, after months of practicing in the water and on land, he drops you while attempting The Lift? Here’s how to at least try to trust him again after you fractured your tibia because he failed to lift you even though he totally said he could.
Take some time.
So you’re in a walking cast because you’re in love with an overconfident man – first, remember that it’s not his fault. He didn’t do this on purpose; this is just the way he was made. Plus, the glitz of Hollywood can make very difficult actions that take years to perfect appear as easy as a musical montage of effort. And just like he should have taken some time in the gym before trying this, you need to take some time for yourself before trusting him again. It’s what Baby would have done – if, for some reason, she was dating a guy who couldn’t lift her.
Try smaller lifts first.
So maybe you flew too close to the sun and now you’ve completely lost the ability to dance – it happens! Get to know the man who dropped you all over again by giving him permission to lift you in ways you feel comfortable and supported, like a hug where he just lifts you one inch off the ground, or where he carries you in his arms but only when you’re over the bed. The man you love is fundamentally weak in his upper body, and it’s okay to start slowly and let his feeble arms carry some watermelons while you find a way to trust him again.
Try lifting him instead.
So since your legs have been out of commission, you’ve done more upper-body work in the gym. Great! Why not try lifting your boyfriend instead? Unlike him, you understand your limits, and trusting yourself is honestly so much more important than trusting anyone else. So why not give him the opportunity to put his trust in you while also knowing you definitely won’t fuck it up the way he did?
It may be hard to bounce back when you’re dropped head-first onto a dance floor but remember: This film has been around for over 30 years, and you’re definitely not the first amateur dancer this has happened to. Take this as a learning moment for your future together, and we’re sure you’ll be stronger for it, emotionally and otherwise!
