Getting caught touching up your hair, makeup, or outfit in the mirror of a public restroom is nothing short of mortifying. Somebody knowing you actually care what you look like and your hair didn’t just naturally fall into a sleek, carefully-crafted topknot? No, thank you. Here’s how you can pretend you just finished washing your hands at the exact moment somebody else stepped foot in the bathroom, and avoid anyone finding out you’ve actually been silently brushing your eyebrows for the past 10 minutes.
Use the sink farthest away from the door.
After using the restroom, you’re going to want to spend as much time as humanly possible ogling your face and hair — but no one has to know that. By using the sink farthest away from the entrance, you can maximize your “stare vacantly and prod face” time, while simultaneously giving yourself enough notice to hear someone entering the bathroom and pretend you just spared a two-second cursory glance in the mirror before briskly exiting.
Keep your head on a swivel.
This is great for staying hyper aware of anyone entering the bathroom, while simultaneously getting a 270-degree view of your face in the mirror. To get an even fuller view, try using the selfie function on your phone’s camera to check out the back of your head. Not only will you be able to begin damage control on whatever the hell is happening back there, but you can also pretend to be on FaceTime should anyone happen to come in at that moment. You’ll have an excuse to dash out, proclaiming to be joining a very important business meeting, and the person who came in will think you’re a busy career woman who doesn’t have time to care if twigs and debris are littering her hair! It doesn’t even matter that the bathroom you’re in is in a Wendy’s right off the highway — they’ll get the point!
Play it off like you were doing something else.
Fixing your lipstick? No way, you were just shushing your shadow self who lives inside the mirror. Pinching your cheeks to give yourself some natural blush? Please! You were actually in the midst of slapping yourself in the face and yelling, “Get back to work!” before making a mad dash out of the bathroom. Anything is better than someone thinking you’re a vain narcissist who gives a damn about personal grooming!
Follow these steps and you’ll effectively hide your primping tendencies the moment someone else enters the bathroom. Sure, they might think you’re a corporate drone with sociopathic tendencies who’s plagued by demons from the shadow world – but it’s better than the alternative!