Your man’s love stick has been working hard and deserves a little retreat, but spas can be expensive and regular handjobs are a snore fest. Yawn! Skip the dingy massage parlor and give his member a sumptuous hot stone handjob that will leave him wanting more!
Step 1: Gather your stones.
Visit any nearby beach to find the best smooth rocks to press against your bae’s shaft. Beach rocks are great because the ocean’s currents have smoothed them out—just like he will be after you’re done releasing all of the tension in his dick. No beach access? No biggie—fish tank gravel works well, too! He’ll love the tiny clicking sound of hard rocks grinding across his penis.
Step 2: Practice.
Give the hot stones a dress rehearsal before they go on for opening night by using them on a banana. Massage the stones into the banana in a circular motion. If you wanna know how well you’re doing, open up the banana and see what it looks like! If it’s bruised and dented, you’re on the right track. If it still looks edible, you should apply more pressure. And if you’ve destroyed the peel and left a big mushy mess, YOU’RE READY FOR THAT D! He’s going to love this.
Step 3: Heat up your rocks.
Let the rocks sit in a pot of scalding hot water. Heat is essential for loosening up those cock muscles, so the hotter the stones, the better! DON’T burn him though, because that would really hurt.
Step 4: Let him have it!
Dim the lights, put on your sexiest pair of sweatpants, and turn on that ambient sound CD because you’re ready to give your dude’s porker a night of decadent serenity. Don’t forget to clean up with a hot towel!
Let your man’s schlong sit in the hard, hot lap of luxury for an evening he won’t ever forget! What are you waiting for?!
