For much of my adult life, I struggled with a fear of loneliness. I would ruminate on thoughts of being isolated in old age, or overfill my schedule just to avoid being alone, but when the pandemic hit, I couldn’t outrun my problems any longer. Difficult though it was, I’m glad to say I finally confronted and ultimately conquered my fear of loneliness by replacing it with a fear of mega-tsunamis. Here’s how I did it.
Many psychologists believe that a fear of loneliness is most often caused by the development of insecure attachment in childhood and/or past trauma. Finding the roots of our fears can be both difficult and painful, but luckily that’s something I don’t ever have to think about again because one day on a lark I Google image searched “mega-tsunami” and immediately I knew I had found a new phobia to occupy every moment of my waking life.
Traditionally, fear of loneliness can be treated by some combination of therapy, breathing exercises, reduced screen time, and I want to say collage? But for me, treatment came in the form of watching mega-tsunami scenes from disaster movies, reading articles about the various volcanic sites that may at any moment cause a mega-tsunami, and gently quaking with fear in every ounce of my body till my mind just stalls out like an overheated computer.
And my fear of loneliness has never been more under control. Better to die alone than to die in a herd of people trying to outrun a mega-tsunami!
If you are someone who suffers from a fear of loneliness too, maybe try my method of closing your eyes and picturing a wall of water from the sea to the heavens steadily approaching land while you stand on the balcony of a beachfront hotel. It might give you a panic attack, but at least the panic attack will be about something else that you have even less control over.
So that’s how I absolutely vanquished my monophobia by replacing it with cymophobia. Personally, my mental health is the best it’s ever been, and if this fear ever gets too out of control, I’ll just move inland and redirect to fear of tornados because honestly, a violent cloud isn’t as scary as a massive wave. Here’s to really living!
