Hello, it is me, Melania Trump, future First Lady of the United States and reluctant participant in the current presidential election. After delivering my first major address last evening at the Republican National Convention, I have been accused of plagiarizing part of Michelle Obama’s own convention speech from eight years ago. To this, I want to prove that I am no plagiarist by saying what I alone can say:
Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country!
People seem to forget that I am an immensely intelligent woman. I speak five languages; I am a mother, a businesswoman, a wife, and I Am Malala. You ask, what is my policy? I can say it is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us; to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime.
That is my policy. I mean, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
Four score and seven years ago, I was a young girl in Slovenia full of so many dreams. I had a dream—a dream that that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
But last night after the convention, I was devastated. How could I express the unique words I have in my heart? It was we, the people; not we, the white male citizens; nor yet we, the male citizens; but we, the whole people, who formed the Union.
I’m every woman
It’s all in me
Anything you want done baby
I can do it naturally
But I refuse to be discouraged. I wrote my speech and intend to write many more. Now Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!