Dude Corner: Our Favorite Holes on Girls

Dude Corner

Sup, tricks? It’s us, dudes. One of our favorite things about girls is their various body cavities for us to put our cum into with our dicks. Chyeah, thanks for all the holes. Here are the holes you girl have that suck the least:



Girl ears are quality holes for a variety of reasons. First, they can hear your band play sick tunes at her dad’s car dealership’s Labor Day cookout. Second, they are SUPER sensitive to wet willies, ESPECIALLY while she’s test driving one of her dad’s dealership’s trucks. Third, you can give her earrings to put on them to make up for causing that huge accident. Make sure the nurses aren’t looking and put your dick in her ear.


Belly buttons

Aw shit, this is my JAM. Belly buttons are so fucking hot. When girls pierce that shit? With the little charms hanging down? Or like when they go all corporate and take out their belly button ring, but you can still see the hole? And then you hang a Christmas ornament from it as a joke and she gets an infection? So hot. You could also put your dick in it.



Mouth holes

We fucking love girl mouths. You can do blowies, rimmies, and all sorts of shit with your girlmouths. Sorry I sound like a baby; I’m just thinking about mouths. We like to thank girlmouths by feeding them strawberries while they’re blindfolded. Then we have our buddies come in dressed like a ghost and we sneak away and she’s all “Mark? You there, Mark? Seriously Mark, if this is another one of your pranks, I’m leaving-“ BOO! Ha ha haaaaa, classic us! When she bangs her head on the counter, give her a nice cold strawberry to put on it.


Tit holes

Not even in a horny way. It’s pretty cool that female bodies can make food. And I’m not just talking about making me a SANDWICH! BOOYAH! Pro tip: If you flick a girl’s nips and she goes “ow,” she might be pregnant. Avoid!


Nose holes

We love your dumb little nose holes. They can smell things like perfume, allergies, weed, me smoking weed in your parents’ bathroom at Thanksgiving, and your parents’ house burning down on Thanksgiving. Oops! Let me stick my dick in your nose in the woods while everyone’s running around all crazy. Nose studs are hot, too.



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NOT vaginas

Vaginas are gay!


There you have it: our least not-hated holes in your bodies. Remember: We’re sorry.