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How to Get an Incredibly Beefy Neck in Time for Beefy Neck Season

How to Take Things Slow Even Though He Bought You a Vitamin Water One Time

Gatekeeping? This Three-Headed Dog Won’t Let Me Into Hell

How to Tell if It’s a Big Dumb Shirt or a Sexy Shirt Dress

Get It Girl! This Woman Successfully Threw a Ball Back to Some Youths

Study Finds Doing CPR to Tune of ‘Hey, Soul Sister’ Worse Than Not Doing CPR at All

How to Date Men Even Though Their Life, Their Love, and Lady Is the Sea

Aww! Woman Projects Deep-Seated Fear of Abandonment Onto Cat in Cutesy Wittle Voice

Vibrator and Remote Control Share Custody of AA Battery

DUDE CORNER: Here’s Why I Shake Men’s Hands and Give Women Hugs

Want To Feel Old? The Live-Action ‘Aladdin’ Film Came Out in 1847

How to Validate Everyone’s Lived Experience, Unless They Say They Like the Taste of Whiskey

We All Love Jeff Goldblum. Here’s Why the Way I Love Him is Actually Unique

Not Fucking Around: This Iced Coffee is in a Quarter Gallon Food Container

Wow! This Woman is Internally Despairing About Climate Crisis While Simultaneously Enjoying This Delicious Carrot Cake

Uh Oh! Friend Trapped in Time Loop Where She Never Stops Apologizing for Misgendering You

How to Pretend You’re Looking at Frozen Peas When Someone is Standing in Front of the Ice Cream Section

Why I Stopped Working and Started a Pickpocket Gang for Wayward Children

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