In a bittersweet story coming out of your living room, the auto-created memory slideshow your iPhone made for you today really makes it seem like you died.
“When I first accidentally swiped left to my weird little iPhone dashboard, I was scared,” you say. “And I wasn’t just scared because I was faced with a photo of me at senior prom, but also because when I clicked on it, there was a whole video set to wistful music that really made it seem as though I had passed.”
Cute! Also kind of sad.
The slideshow included a photo of you at your college graduation, a slutty pic you took with your friends on Halloween, and a close-up selfie of you crying on the toilet that you took to send your best friend six months ago.
“It was like being at my own funeral,” you say. “Well like, if my funeral was directed by someone who has my phone password and hates me.”
You are not the only person who has experienced Apple’s endearing It’s a Wonderful Life-style mind games.
“Those memory videos are always a trip,” says your roommate, Lucia Dele. “Most often it’s a slideshow of your ex, sometimes it’s a disturbing video art piece of your most deranged screenshots, but the videos of just you? Why do they do that? Who would want such a thing?”
You, however, are trying to stay positive about the development.
“The whole thing has really made me meditate on mortality, the ceaseless passing of time, and the traces I’ll leave on the world when I’m gone,” you say. “Maybe our iPhones makes these videos so we can check in on ourselves, and reflect on our pasts while being reminded that we have control over the sorts of memories we are yet to make.”
“Or Apple just wants to send a subtle reminder that they own us, and could probably kill us if they wanted to.”