You’re naked and having sex with a guy, which means that there are a lot of opportunities to feel insecure about your body. And while there are many sex positions that can make you feel uncomfortable about your entire body, these sex positions will make you feel self-conscious about just your armpits specifically. If that’s what you’re into for some reason, here are our favorites:
The Upside-Down Adventure
Have your partner enter you while upside down. As he thrusts away, the fat from your biceps will slide into your armpits. Normally, gravity is your friend and prevents those weird pockets of jiggle from looking funky. But not with this position! With this fun and flexible position, you’ll focus more on the motion of your pits than the motion of your partner!
The Booty and the Beast
Bend over as he enters you from behind, where he’ll get a great view of your butt and back, and also a pretty weird view of your armpits. He’s looking at them, right? Because you pretty much feel like they’re front and center in this position. You’re in the middle of sex. Why is this such a thing for you right now?
The Carnival Ride
As you move around on his body, your armpits will be flopping around like some kind of old fish. You didn’t think armpits could flop, but somehow they can and will! Move your hips and shift out of it, then realize the position you shifted into is just as bad. Holy fuck. Who knew armpits could be so weird? This all you can think about right now!
Raise your arms and arch your back while you sit on top of him, to let him go deeper and let you have a sexy, powerful position before you promptly realize you forgot to shave your pits before going over to his house. You shaved your legs, but how could you overlook your fucking armpits? And the fact that he can see that is going to kill his boner, right? Fucking hell.
The Tickle Pickle
As he grabs on to your arm for a better thrust, he’ll accidentally touch your armpit, making you feel self-conscious about how sweaty and lumpy it is. It’s seriously wetter than a South American rain forest. And sticky too. Can armpits even get this sweaty? Should you get checked out for a thyroid condition as soon as he’s done boning you?
Have fun with these! And remember, every body part has the potential to take your mind off your own enjoyment of sex!