‘Young People Lack Professionalism,’ Says Man Who Had Affair With Secretary

older man

In a story coming out of your parents’ living room, your uncle Frank is in the middle of a rant about how the young people of today lack the professional prowess of his past, despite the fact that he had an affair with his secretary 15 years ago.


“Gen Z has absolutely no respect for the workplace,” Uncle Frank said, despite him making plans with his now wife, Cynthia, to meet during their lunch breaks and spend nights at hotels behind his first wife’s back. “Back in my day, everyone took work seriously. There was simply no room for ‘mental health days’, or ‘summer Fridays’, or ‘sexual harassment training.’”


Your Uncle Frank went on to explain that during his last year working at the advertisement agency that he had the luxury to retire from, the new, younger employees he met were hesitant to come into the office every day, dress in business formal attire, or laugh at his offensive jokes.


“Why wouldn’t you want to come into the office every day?” Frank asked, which was unsurprising considering that he hated his first wife and took every single opportunity he had to leave his home where his wife and two kids resided. “Do they just want to lay in bed all day? I really don’t understand it.”


Interestingly enough, Frank’s previous coworkers confirmed that Frank would often come into work late because he overslept at the hotel that he met his former secretary at the night before.


Sources confirmed that not only did Frank marry his secretary, he also spent the majority of the workday enjoying “martini lunches,” making personal phone calls, watching sports, playing pool, going for long drives, taking naps, and harassing several other employees at the office.


Frank also noted that the lack of respect he received from newer hires was frankly shocking.



“I told one employee that she had to come in two hours early to finish the work that I forgot to do the day before, and she said ‘no,’” Frank said, incredulous. “30 years ago, that just wouldn’t fly. If you wanted to get ahead in the business, you had to make sacrifices.”


However, according to sources at the agency Frank retired from, he rarely had to make sacrifices in regard to his salary, treatment, and overall dignity in the workplace.