In an inspiring story of willpower, 25-year-old Genevieve Randall has finally managed to “unplug” – deleting TikTok off her phone and redistributing that time among all her other social media apps.
Perfect! Take that, attention economy!
“I just looked at my screen time and was so shocked by the amount of my life I was wasting on TikTok,” Genevieve told reporters gathered at the scene. “I could be wasting that time elsewhere, like on Instagram or Twitter or the comments section of the Venmo app!”
Upon realizing three of the seven hours she spent on her phone daily were allocated to TikTok, Genevieve immediately deleted the app and began the arduous process of redistributing that time among every single other app on her phone equally.
Is it difficult to find a way to scroll aimlessly on the Weather app? Genevieve says, “Yes.”
“It’s been so nice to unplug since I’ve deleted TikTok from my phone,” Genevieve continued, as if her total screen time is not exactly the same as it always was.
“She used to send me a ton of TikTok videos, but a few weeks back, she gave me a heads up that she would be deleting the app and that I shouldn’t expect her to reach out as much online,” Genevieve’s best friend, Raymond Chan, told reporters. “But one day later, I started getting a lot of Instagram reels from her. Like, a ton of Instagram reels. I honestly think she’s sends me more videos now than she ever did before.”
Sources confirm that of the three hours per day she used to spend on TikTok, Genevieve has now allocated one hour to Instagram, one hour to stalking old friends who now have kids on Facebook, 20 minutes to doom scrolling on Twitter, 20 minutes to searching something random on Reddit, and 20 minutes to playing the Google Doodle.
“I’m so proud of Gen for getting off TikTok,” said Genevieve’s mother, Patricia Randall. “I mean, I only ever use Facebook, and it makes me feel like I have so many hours in the day!”
Sources confirm Patricia spends an average of 11 hours per day on Facebook and has been on the receiving end of more misinformation campaigns than our researchers could count. She is a renowned conspiracy theorist who proudly “doesn’t think JFK really killed himself.”
