Why I’d Rather Be Hit by a Car Than Do a Light Jog Across the Street

We’ve all been there: You underestimated the time that it would take you to cross the street right before the light changed and now you’re in the middle of the crosswalk with a line of cars waiting to drive forward and potentially into you.


I’ve been there as well, and here’s why I’d rather be hit by that car than do a pathetic little light jog across the street.


Firstly, getting hit by a car gives you a lot more attention than doing an absolutely embarrassing jog across the street. Instead of looking vulnerable, I could look vulnerable and get sympathy from others, which makes getting hit by an oncoming car a far better option, in my opinion. Plus, people will sense my cool confidence, especially if I’d say stuff like “I knew that would happen” and “…idiot”.


Also, while I don’t get any money from jogging across the street, I do, have the option of suing whoever hits me at an intersection, which would result in possibly being set financially for life.


Can my wimpy little jog do that? I didn’t think so.


Anyway, getting rammed at 30-60 mph isn’t all bad – if anything, it’s a great way to stand my ground and let people know that when I cross the street, I mean it. I made the decision to cross the street when I did, and I believe that I should be able to stick with that choice and walk at a leisurely pace, no matter what kind of injuries I get because of it. I also understand if a driver hits me because the light is green, because I respect their free will, too!


Any driver would actually be doing me a favor by hitting me with their car while I’m jogging across the street. Like, yeah, please run into me so I can stop doing this terrible little half-run!



I firmly believe that no one should ever have to do a light jog across the street, even though this could be easily avoided by just not crossing the street when the light is about to turn. But it still just isn’t fair!


So if anyone else reading this also hates doing a little light jog across the street, you should know that you’re not alone! Also, if you drive up to a stoplight and see me fast-walking on the crosswalk, you know what to do (please floor it)!