We Need a Woman President to Show Little Girls That One Day They Can Have a Bowling Alley in Their House 

Representation matters, and while Vice President Kamala Harris made history in 2020, there’s still work to be done (or one old man to die) before little girls in history class can look at our list of presidents and see something other than male White House occupants. That’s why we absolutely need a woman president to finally prove to little girls everywhere that one day, they can also have a bowling alley in their house.


We’ve had 46 presidents, 45 of which were white, and all men. Thirteen of those presidents also enjoyed the power and wonder of having a single lane bowling alley in their house, thanks to President Truman who also legally supported annexation of Palestinian land, dropped atomic bombs on Japanese civilians, and created the CIA. While it’s debatable whether little girls should be empowered to do most of these things, they definitely should be empowered to feel they have what it takes to possess a private bowling alley.


We simply won’t know equality until this day comes.



Some people will have objections to this argument. First and foremost, they’ll say, “Isn’t bowling more of a group activity? Like, you go to the bowling alley, you rent shoes, it’s a whole fun thing?” Well it’s not for the President of the United States of America, and it’s not for the ruthless oil magnate in There Will Be Blood, who, oh, what’s that now? Was ALSO a man. How are girls supposed to believe they can privately own bowling alleys in this society we’ve created for them?


Being the president, much like having a non-commercial bowling alley in the basement of your home, sounds cool to a child, but in reality is isolating, sort of dark, and something only a deeply troubled, probably egomaniacal adult would do. And for far too long those troubled egomaniacs have been men – so let’s change that. Let’s show girls they can be powerful, they can be presidential, and they can live for four-eight years in a house with a bowling alley in the basement that they probably never use. God bless America.