Here’s Why I Stopped Doing the Dishes and Started Smashing Them on the Floor like a Greek Wedding

We’ve all been there: Right after finishing a delicious meal, you quickly realize that you have to do the dishes, and your mood is totally ruined. Ugh! But did you know there’s a way around this tragic yet seemingly inevitable fate of life? Here’s why I started smashing my dishes on the floor like they do at a Greek wedding instead.


No matter how hard I tried, doing the dishes took up literally hours of my time. But I soon realized: Time is money. Even though smashing plates three times a day can get expensive, I believe that it’s totally worth the time I save by not doing the dishes. Sure, there’s sharp pieces of porcelain all over my apartment that I haven’t cleaned up yet, but I choose to see this as a way to make my place a little more exciting for guests.


And according to the Greeks, smashing plates symbolizes new beginnings. I remember this whenever I finish a meal that I’m not proud of, like a whole pint of ice cream or five bags of Takis, because it’s basically like it never happened! Also, yes, I smash my plates after a meal even if I don’t eat off of them. It does make a huge mess.


And while washing dishes was typically seen as a “necessary part of living,” breaking plates was thought to stop bad spirits from interrupting a positive celebration. This is helpful for keeping the neighbors in my apartment building away as well, since they think I’m constantly fighting with someone or maybe just insane (it also helps to scream while doing it)!



After learning that this method of not doing the dishes was so efficient, I decided to help restaurant workers out with it as well. So every time I eat out, I throw my dishes on the ground after I’m done. Of course, the staff gets mad at me, but it’s only because their manager is telling them to. I know that they’re secretly happy they don’t have to wash the dishes and even get to order more! After all, everyone loves online shopping.


With time, I’m confident that everyone around the world will stop doing their dishes and start throwing them on the floor in the Greek tradition instead. And even if not, I’ll definitely still be doing it. Opa!!!!!!